Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Amber
This was the last time. The thought kept whirring in my head as Zach licked me. I needed him. Just one more time. I pushed his head back. Zach looked surprised. I couldn’t say anything. Instead I made him sit back against the headboard and straddled him. Zach released a low breath as I curled my fingers around him and slowly guided him into me. He wrapped his arms around my back, our chests pressed against each other as I started to move. We kissed, slowly, unhurriedly. I wanted to taste him one more time, wanted to feel him one more time. Zach suckled my throat as he guided my hips in a slow rhythm. I could feel pressure building in my core. I moved faster and wrapped my arms tightly around Zach’s neck, burying my face in his hair. Tears started to trickle down my cheeks, as I relished in the feel of our skin sliding against each other. I bit back a sob. Zach snuck a hand between us and rubbed my clit, driving me higher and higher. My orgasm gripped me and I cried out as pleasure shot through my body, moved my hips faster and faster until Zach’s hand grabbed my hips and he groaned when his own orgasm overwhelmed him. I clung to him as the tingling ebbed away and he softened in me. I didn’t move, couldn’t move. I wiped the tears off my face, so Zach wouldn’t see and stared at the wooden headboard. This was it.
Zach lay down, taking me with him. I rested my cheek against his chest, breathing in his scent, listening to his quick heartbeat, running my fingertips up his muscled arms. He stroked my back, his touch soft and gentle as he always was with me. I wanted this moment to last forever. One more night, I told myself, and tomorrow I’d break it off before he could break my heart, or worse: stayed with me for the wrong reasons until he learned to regret it, or maybe even resent me. I’d never feel comfortable around the society women who smiled at you while hating everything about you and the business men with their overconfident smiles. That wasn’t my world. But it would be Zach’s soon. It was already Brittany’s. My heart tightened. Reagan had told me to take control, to always be in control. I wouldn’t lose control ever again. Control was what had helped me leave my past behind. I wouldn’t let anyone be the master over my life again.
I breathed in his scent again, letting it engulf me entirely, wrap me into a cocoon of blissful safety. He was the only one who made me feel like that. Only he, but whatever we had, it would – it could never be more than an interlude. Zach hadn’t disagreed with his father and that was as much a confirmation as there could ever be one. Maybe Zach was really too kind to admit it, maybe he was worried he’d lose Brian if he left me, maybe he was worried I’d shatter if he was the one to end things between us, so I had to make it easy for him. I loved Zach, loved him more than I thought possible after what had happened, but he’d never said it back. I’d thought it was maybe a guy thing, but now I realized it was a Zach thing. He couldn’t say it because he didn’t love me. When we’d started dating he’d always said he would try to be a good boyfriend but he couldn’t promise me anything. Trying hadn’t been enough, I realized that now.
One more night. I closed my eyes, buried my face in Zach’s chest. I was suddenly very calm. One more night.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Zach
When I woke, Amber wasn’t snuggled up to me. I sat up and rubbed my face. She’d probably gone to the bathroom, but when I touched the side where she usually lay it was completely cold as if she’d left a while ago. I got out of bed, put boxer shorts on and went in search of her. I knocked at her door but got no response. Eventually I found her in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and staring intently at a cup of coffee cradled in her hands. She looked like she hadn’t slept at all last night. I walked up to her for a kiss but she shook her head and took a few steps back. Confused, I stopped.
“We need to talk,” she said quietly.
Something was wrong, very fucking wrong. “What’s going on?”
“This isn’t going to work. I want to break up.”
Shock shot through me as I stared at her. She was looking right back at me, completely serious. Her eyes were guarded. I’d never seen that look on her face.
“What do you mean?”
“What I said. I think we should break up. When we started dating we always knew it could turn out that it wasn’t working out, and I realized it isn’t going to work out.” She said it like she’d rehearsed those lines all night. When had she decided to break up with me?
“It’s because of yesterday, because of my mother, right?”
She shook her head but I could tell from her expression I’d hit a nerve. She thought she’d end up like my mother if she stayed with me. She’d finally realized what my father had known all along: that I was just like my old man, that I was a destructive force bound to fuck up her life. My father had said the best thing I could do for Amber was letting her go so she could find someone else, someone nicer, someone better.
I nodded once. “Okay. If that’s what you want. It’s probably for the best.”
She looked surprised for a moment, then she put down the coffee and walked past me. “Yes, it is.” And then she slipped out of the kitchen and a moment later I heard the front door bang shut.
What the fuck had just happened? I sank down on the chair and didn’t move for a long time. I’d never felt so fucking empty. I buried my face in my palms. Why was I feeling so bad? I was doing the right thing. Amber needed someone, a decent guy who loved her, then why was the mere idea of her being with another man feel like a stab in the heart?