Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
“Like I said I can’t talk to you about that right now.” He glanced around the kitchen. “Where’s my brother? Is he staying in your room?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not sleeping with him. He’s a priest. Like a real priest, with full-on celibacy and everything. Not that I would sleep with him even if he wasn’t. He’s my brother-in…he’s like a brother to me. He’s watching over Roman. He got the same bug. Probably because most of the time he takes Roman to school.”
“What grade is he in? Do they have the same grades in Malta as the US?” He stopped himself. “I don’t want to overwhelm you. I’m curious. That’s a stupid word. I’m beyond curious. I want to know him. He’s my son.”
“Ask me whatever you want. I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight.” She wasn’t sure she would ever sleep again. At least not until they’d gotten wherever they were going to go and Beck left. Until she could figure out a way to start all over. For the third time.
“Because you hate seeing me again?”
“No, Beck. Believe it or not this isn’t about you. I just lost everything I worked for. Seven years I’ve been rebuilding my life and it’s all gone again. And now I have to worry about fucking Levi Green coming after my son.” She was going to be totally honest with him. Lying had never worked even though she’d done it for a good cause. “I have to worry about you coming after my son.”
He sat up a little straighter. “I wouldn’t hurt him.”
He didn’t understand what she was saying. “I don’t mean that. Tell me you haven’t already thought about how much safer he would be with you.”
“He wouldn’t be any safer since I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, so no, he won’t be safer with me.”
“I’m talking about later.”
“I am, too. I’m not taking him away. You’re his mom. I’m his dad. I only want to know him.” His eyes met hers. “I want to know if he’s afraid of me.”
“Afraid of you?”
“Because you’re afraid of me. You ran today.”
“I had to get to Roman.” She would never forget that moment when she’d seen Levi, but then Beck had been there. She’d promised him honesty. “I panicked when I saw Levi. I’ve gotten soft. So fucking soft. I panicked and I told him I had a son because in that moment I thought it might…I don’t know. I thought he might have a soul and I could get to him.”
“He doesn’t. I know you think he was your friend, but he was always using you. Always. He’s a sociopath. He realized you had things he wanted. Money. Powerful connections. But it was always about him.”
“Yeah, I get it. You would think after years of my mother trying to drill that into my head I would get it.”
He shook his head. “Hey, I wasn’t saying that’s your only value. I’m saying that’s what he sees. If you remember I didn’t want your money, and I definitely could have gone my whole life without meeting your family.”
“Thank god I’m attractive,” she said with a hard core of bitterness she hadn’t felt in years.
“I’m not saying this right,” Beck said softly. “I wanted to warn you about Levi. And yeah, I was attracted to how beautiful you are, but I wouldn’t have married you if that was all there was. I loved you for your spirit and how you could make me laugh. I loved you because it felt like you were half of my soul.”
She couldn’t handle the emotion she felt at those words. It was easier to get back to the point. “When I realized having a kid wouldn’t sway Levi, that he might actually hurt Roman, I made the decision to run. Not to the fort. I was going to get out of Birgu, and then I was going to leave Malta.”
“What?”
“I was going to leave my son behind in hopes that Levi would chase after me. I knew my uncle and Ezra would take care of Roman. In those seconds I had, I knew I had to try to protect him any way I could.”
“But you ran to the fort,” Beck said.
“Because then I saw you and I knew I didn’t have to leave Roman because one way or another, you would deal with Levi. I ran back to the fort because you were there and I had hope again.”
He stood up suddenly, and for a moment she was afraid he was going to walk, but then he held out a hand.
“What?” She stared at it. They hadn’t touched. She shouldn’t touch him. It was one thing to be honest with him, to lay out everything she’d done and let him judge her for it, but this was too much. Touching him would bring back every feeling she’d ever had for this man, and he couldn’t want that either.