Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
“You know, Ryder, we keep doing this time and time again, but we can’t go back this time. Too much has happened; there’s been too much hurt.”
“I don’t want us to go back to the way things were either. I want us to move forward, to be better together because heaven knows we’re nothing without each other. I can hardly breathe when we’re apart. I need you to survive, and that’s the plain truth.”
“You could’ve fooled me; you stayed married to her for five years, and you seemed to be doing very well without me. What? You had an invisible oxygen mask? Whenever I saw you two online, you looked like the perfect couple.”
That’s not exactly true. As he’d said earlier, he used to look like hammered shit most of the time, but there were times when they looked close, like a couple in love. Those were the images that haunted me even though I knew all about staging for public appearances.
“Pain the ass! I was stuck, don’t you get it? That’s what I’m trying to explain to you if you’d give me a chance.”
“What if I don’t want to? What if I’m all out of chances to give?”
“Then I’ll take you out of here right now, and no one will ever see us again. I’ll take us both far away, somewhere no one knows us. We’ll live like two hermits on the beach somewhere. It might be better that way anyway, no one to stick their nose in our business. No cameras watching our every move and no outside opinions that shouldn’t matter.”
“Get real. Why don’t you go home to your wife?”
“I can’t. I don’t have one any longer.” He walked by me and headed for the stairs leading up to the bedroom and the bed that we’d once shared. The bed that I’d found it hard to get rid of because it held too many memories of us.
“What? What did you just say?” By the time I caught up with him, he was kicking off his shoes and throwing himself down across the mattress the way he always used to. I stood in silent shock for a second as the memories replayed themselves in my head.
“If you’d listen to me, I would’ve told you that from the start. But you were so hellbent on kicking me out.” He shrugged his shoulder and hugged my pillow to his chest. When he buried his face in it and inhaled my scent with a satisfied hum, I almost dropped to my knees.
Why does he still have this power over me after all this time? Why does my stupid heart still soften and feel this way about him? Not even two hours in the door, and already I was ready to give in to anything he asked for. It’s always been like this; I’ve always just caved because the love was stronger than my own self-preservation and common sense. Not this time, please, not this time.
“We can’t keep doing this, you know. We’re no longer kids. We’re both adults.”
He pulled his face from my pillow and stared at me with those soulful eyes that I always suspected saw too much. “It doesn’t matter how old we get, Elena. You and I will always be meant for each other.”
He held his hand out for me to come to him, and like a fool, I took it, letting myself be pulled down on the bed next to him. “I missed you so fucking much, baby.” There go those stupid tears again, but how could I help it? It’s been so long since he’s called me since I’ve heard that word spoken in his voice that sent shivers down my spine each time.
His fingers playing with the hair at my temple as he brushed it back off my face was a familiar feeling; the beat of his heart against my chest was another. When he dropped his eyes to my lips before looking back into mine, I held my breath and waited.
“Later, we’ll talk later, and I’ll let you get your pound of flesh, but right now, I need to be inside you so badly.” I wanted it too, craved it even, and no amount of telling myself how stupid it was could stop me. I knew it, and he knew it. So, when his lips came down on mine, I let myself be sucked in, be taken over.
Just that easily, I was sucked back in. The feel of him was something so familiar I just wanted to burrow in and stay there in his arms until the rest of the world just faded away. Until there was no more pain, no more hurt, and no ugliness. Just the love I’ve always wanted with him.
And then reality came crashing in. This wasn’t like all those other times we broke up and came back together. “Wait a minute, wait, we can’t do this; you’re married.”