Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
“But miraculously, once you got married, you were the most upstanding citizen, everybody’s poster boy. Always smiling and happy. Every time I turned around, you two were jetting off somewhere. Meanwhile, I couldn’t get you to cross the damn street without a fight when we were together.”
“That was all PR and well-orchestrated outings. Did you see what I looked like the last couple of years without you? I looked like shit. She did not get the best part of me, don’t ever say that. That was always reserved for you, even when I was pissed at you when I thought you betrayed me. I promise you if you give me another chance, things will never be like that again, not for as long as I live.”
“How can I make you understand that I was hurting too? I know from the outside looking in I’m the bad guy, and I take that, but I was there; I know what I felt, what I endured. I know the fault was all mine, but I was swimming in a sea of chaos.”
“People I trusted turned my love against me. I was far away from home and everything I knew. I was too young to know better in a town that offered every vice known to man right at my fingertips. All excuses, I know, but it’s all true.”
“Yes, there were times I was mad at you for not letting me be free, times when I almost hated you because you were so good, so pure, and I was already dabbling with the dark side. I’m no saint, Elena; we both know that, and even before I knew I was being drugged, there were things I wanted to do, but not once did I want to be without you.”
“You were always the one to break up with me because your family and friends didn’t think I was good enough, and that was before I started messing things up. How do you think that made me feel? How many times did I tell you what that did to me? So, you have no blame in this? You never hurt me?”
“Ryder, you really do have a very short memory. Each time we broke up, it was because of something stupid you did that made my family nervous.”
“What eighteen-year-old with a fast car won’t drive fast, Elena? Was that worth me being cast aside?”
“So, they should’ve been fine with you risking my life.”
“I never did that. Once, once, I drove too fast with you in the car, and I lost you for a whole damn year. Everyone was trying to control me, including you and those people you love so much. You always put everyone else before me, Elena. And guess what, when you pushed me aside, guess who was there to pick up the pieces. People like Matt and Mary, Janie, the Hudson girls.”
“Oh, so now it’s my fault that you got mixed up with them?”
“Of course not, that’s not what I’m saying; I’m just trying to spell everything out so we can see where we went wrong time and again. Don’t you get it? I want to make everything right. I want us to start over and do better this time. I need us to heal together and be stronger than we ever were.”
“I don’t see how, Ryder; there are some things you just don’t come back from. You say those things were PR stunts, but the things you said about me in the beginning, weren’t. You dogged me out and treated me like I never mattered. You made light of our eight years together and made me feel like shit for something I didn’t do.”
“What? What are you saying? What are you talking about?”
*Elena*
“Don’t pretend you don’t know. As if leaving me stranded at the altar wasn’t bad enough, you had to make me look like a fool in front of the whole world. You said things about me and shared things I told you in confidence just to break me down even further.”
“Elena, I was high from the day I got married until about two and a half months ago. I don’t remember half of what was going on then, but I know for a fact that I never said anything against you, not once. I couldn’t; it’s just not in me.”
I gave him a disbelieving look and knew from experience that it would annoy him. The narcissist in him could never handle being doubted, but I was no longer the one to feed his ego so he could get bent as far as I was concerned.
“Let me ask you a question, do you handle your own social media posts?”
“No, what does that… wait, are you saying you didn’t post any of those things?”
“No, I didn’t. She did all of that because she knew what it would do to you. It was one of Mary’s schemes. Their plan was to drive you crazy by making it seem like I was the one saying all of those things. I’m sorry. But I thought you would see right through that; please tell me you didn’t believe for a second that I was behind that shit.”