Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 63282 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63282 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
I open my mouth to say “sorry” again, but I stop myself. I’d better shut it before I blurt out the real reason why Peter didn’t want Sarah to be with him in his last moments.
At dinner, Sarah retracts her own words from earlier in the day. “My mom did say something, actually, when she came to the clinic today,” she says.
I wait for her to continue.
“I have a question, Luca.” Sarah leans over the table and stares intensely at me. “My mom wanted me to ask you where you go in the middle of the night.”
I stab a piece of potato. Leave it to Donna to try to sabotage everything.
Luckily, I have a go-to answer. “I go for a run.”
Sarah visibly deflates with relief, her muscles relaxing. “Sorry, I should’ve known not to listen to my mom.” She pauses. “Did you know my dad only lived here in Ashbourne because my mom wouldn’t let him leave the state? She was making things difficult with the custody arrangements.”
I nod.
“I can’t stop thinking . . . If Dad had taken us out of Ashbourne . . . and moved us to the city . . . I wonder if it would’ve changed things. Maybe Peter could’ve gone to a bigger hospital and gotten better treatments from better doctors. At the very least, I would’ve been there for him.” Sarah’s eyes fill with genuine regret. “I can’t help but blame my mom for it.”
For the first time since we met each other again, she’s opening up about Peter’s death. The sorrow etched on her beautiful face makes me want to take her pain away somehow.
I really wish Peter had made different choices too, but there’s nothing either one of us can do to change the past.
“I miss him,” Sarah says, lifting her gaze up.
“I miss him, too.” I see the same grief I’m holding on to, reflected by Sarah’s big, innocent eyes. My chest tightens at the sight.
“You know, I think you’re right when you said I was using risky sex to deal with my problems,” Sarah says, surprising me with her honesty. “What I told you about the time I had sex with some random guy at a park . . . I’d just hung up on my mom. We had a heated argument over the phone.” Sarah lets out a big exhale and gives me a tired expression. “She told me she was disowning me.”
I chuckle. “Funny. Last time I checked, disowning someone meant cutting ties, not showing up unannounced at their workplace.”
“Ugh. Tell me about it.” Sarah rolls her eyes. “That was the second time she did it, too. And it still upset me. The first time was because I chose to live with Dad after the divorce.”
“I wonder why you wouldn’t want to live with her. She sounds like a pleasant woman.”
Sarah laughs, a melodic sound that brightens up the whole kitchen for a while until it dies down.
“My dad tried to shake my mom off for years and didn’t ever manage to do it.” Sarah says, “He was court-ordered to pay her mortgage and utilities.
“She used to do all kinds of crazy stunts to drive the utility bills up. Once, she went away for a vacation during winter, but not before opening all the windows and cranking up the heat.”
“Yeah, Peter told me about that.”
“Did he tell you about how she made our dad give her the family car in exchange for keeping the clinic?”
“Yeah, that’s why you live in the clinic.”
“Yeah. She also tried to have my dad’s dog put down at the vet’s office in Dewhurst. Luckily, the vet there recognized the dog and my mom’s last name, so he excused himself and called my dad. He never kept a pet after that dog died.”
“Lucky Rex. He was a good dog.” Peter and I used to spend hours painting together, and Rex would be at his feet the whole time, except for mealtimes and toilet breaks.
“Oh, right. You met Rex.” She smiles wryly. “The only thing my mom didn’t do was accuse my dad of sexual abuse against me. She knew I wasn’t going to let her use me like that.”
“It must’ve been hard to grow up with all that conflict in the house.”
“I don’t know . . . I’ve always felt like it was all my fault.” Sarah sighs. “I was the reason they had to stay together.
“My mom got pregnant with Peter when she was only eighteen, so they got married. Just as they were about to separate for the first time, they learned about the second pregnancy.
“If it weren’t for Peter and me, they probably would’ve broken up and forgotten about each other after a few years.”
My chest tightens for the little girl Sarah used to be. For a split second, I catch a glimpse of her younger self in her expressive eyes, all confused and lonely.