Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
But I didn’t think about Alex, about where we were.
I pick up my pace, finding Alex at the end of the street. He’s walking with his hands at his sides, his fists clenched, his demeanor one I recognize well from work.
It’s the same way he’ll look after bad business meetings, pacing the office, struggling to contain his energy.
As I move faster, I think about his wedding day and the speech I gave. Just briefly, I think about the way he looked at me as Tiffany was walking down the aisle.
It was like he was saying, Thanks so much, bro.
And how did I thank him?
By getting with his sister, by betraying him.
And it’s not like I can even use the excuse that I wanted to tell him, and Becca was too nervous. I’d never betray Becca like that, never put her down in front of her brother.
“Alex, wait.”
He spins on me, wearing the smile I also recognize.
It’s not a real smile. It’s something else, more a surreal cock of his lips, like he can’t quite believe what’s happening, so smiling is the only response.
“I didn’t want to find out like that,” Alex says.
Something in his tone makes me pause. His words make me pause.
“What do you mean…like that?”
Alex looks over my shoulder, presumably at Tiffany and Becca. I want to turn and see how Becca’s doing, but I know how dangerous it is looking at her, how close it will bring me to breaking my resolve.
She doesn’t want us to tell him, but what are we supposed to do now?
“I just…,” Alex sighs, throwing his hands up. “Do you really think I suggested this dinner just for the sake of it? Hey, Ben, best friend, best man, me and Tiffany don’t know any other couples. Want a double date?”
I stare, the truth slamming into me.
“You know plenty of other couples,” I say. “Of course you do. You wanted to meet with Becca and me. You and Tiffany did.”
“I don’t understand,” Becca says.
“I know, sis.” Alex sighs. “I’ve been waiting….”
“For us to tell you,” I say when he trails off.
“Well, yeah,” Alex nods.
“I don’t understand any of this,” Becca says, walking over and shaking her head.
Tiffany gestures, herding us to the edge of the path.
We all move over to a large tree with a bench beneath it without discussing it. Tiffany sits down, but everybody else remains standing as though we’re too full of energy to sit.
She stands, looking around at the three of us. I can see the love etched into her features when she looks at Alex.
For a crazy second, it reminds me of the way Becca bee has been looking at me lately. It’s the affection in her eyes, bursting out, so much of it I feel like shouting it right here.
I love you, Becca bee.
At least that way, I know I’ve said it. It’s out there before everything becomes a ruin.
Alex sighs, glancing at me.
“When did you know?” I ask.
“I suspected something at the party, before the wedding,” he says.
“What?” Becca and I yell at the same time.
Then our eyes meet – we can’t help it – and share a laugh. The laughter comes from a reflex resulting from spending the last week together.
It dies almost right away, guilt hitting us both.
But when I turn back to Alex, he’s got a faint smile on his face.
“It was when I caught you both at Mom and Dad’s Air BnB – well, not caught. But I could tell something was different. Think about it. I’ve known you both for years. And then at the wedding, I don’t know, there was this energy. And I think we spoke, Ben. I was pretty wasted. But I think we talked about this.”
“We kind of did,” I agree. “But I didn’t tell you I was talking about Becca.”
Each word makes me feel like more of a traitor.
Alex watches me calmly, without judgment, nodding as though he understands.
“There was this energy between you both. I didn’t want to say anything.”
“You were too angry?” I say.
Alex narrows his eyes. Tiffany makes a noise, something between a laugh and a sigh.
It’s like she’s saying, Does his best friend know him at all?
“Angry?” he says, as though confused. “Didn’t you hear me, Ben? I know you both. I know how difficult Becca has found it to be with somebody, anybody. I know she’s never really tried. Hell, I know she gave up without even trying.”
Becca nods, wiping at her cheek. “That’s true.”
“And you, Ben….”
Alex’s expression almost makes me shed a tear too.
It’s the understanding on his face. It’s like I never could’ve hurt him, never ended what we built.
“You were the most obvious of all,” he goes on. “The way you were acting when she was here, all on-edge. And after she left…you’re always a workaholic, so maybe you thought you got away with it by hiding in your work. But I could tell something was up. And then bam, as soon as she’s back, you’re back to acting on-edge. I’m pretty sure she was there last week, at your apartment.”