Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
My excuse was, “We have to tell Alex first.”
But really, it was the thought of his massive cock, how unbelievably big he is, making my pussy tingle in a way that told me he wouldn’t fit.
It didn’t stop us from indulging in each other though.
Our faces were pressed close as we reached down between our bodies, my hand wrapped around his length as he toyed with my pussy, our touching getting quicker and more urgent the longer we kept at it.
Now I turn to Ben. He’s sitting in the armchair, his hand motionless on the armrest, staring straight ahead like he can’t bear to look at me.
He’s wearing a T-shirt and faded blue jeans with chunky brown boots, making him look rugged and manly in a way that nearly has me melting.
“How can you be so calm?” I ask.
“I’m not,” he says.
“Then how can you seem so calm?”
He looks at me finally. His eyes do that shimmering thing, the same thing they did last night when we were talking about the future.
Our future, the one I never dreamed he’d want as well.
“Before a fight, I’d be so nervous. Terrified. I wouldn’t tell anybody. I’d sit there, seeming like the coldest bastard on the outside but dying inside. I guess that’s how it is now.”
I walk over to him, reaching down and touching his hand. “But you don’t have to suffer in silence anymore. You’re not alone anymore.”
“You’re right.” His lip twitches into something like a smile, a real smile instead of his usual smirk. “But I don’t want to make you more nervous.”
“Why…what are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking this could blow up in our faces.”
The apartment buzzer cuts him short. He laughs drily, then so do I, no humor in the sounds at all.
It’s like we’re pretending.
He stands up, his hand moving as though to cradle the small of my back. It’s the way he held me when we left the cabin this morning, pressing confidently, as though telling me in touch what he told me in words last night.
I belong to him. He belongs to me.
We own each other.
I step away, instinct making me, as I think of the pain in Alex’s expression.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter.
He frowns, nodding. “It’s fine. I understand. Ignore what I said before about it blowing up. I didn’t mean it.”
“Really?”
“Well, I didn’t mean to be so blunt. Let’s get this done.”
My mind spirals into an abyss, one after the other, each one darker and more depressing than the last.
As we walk down the hallway together, it strikes me how strange this is, how completely at odds with what Alex is expecting.
“You didn’t tell him I was here, did you?” I ask.
“No,” Ben replies. “I thought it would be better if he didn’t know beforehand. But now I wonder….”
“It’s going to be a shock to him.”
We’re standing near the door.
The apartment buzzer goes off again, as though Alex is getting impatient.
“Ben, I’m sorry,” I say, stepping away with my hands raised. “I can’t do this. Not now. I know it’s a crappy thing to do. I’m sorry. But please. Don’t make me. I shouldn’t have let it get this far.”
My hands are shaking as I move them, trying to explain. My words come out disjointed, in quick bursts, as I struggle to push them past my nerves.
I feel like my throat is closing.
“He’s here now, Becca.”
“I know. But please, Ben. Please.”
He looks at me for a few moments, his eyes difficult to read, his jaw clenched tightly. “Go and wait in the gym. I’ll make sure he doesn’t come in.”
“What will you tell him?” I ask.
“Something about the business. Don’t worry. Just go, Becca bee.”
I don’t like the way he says my nickname. It’s as though he’s annoyed that the sting has finally focused on him.
Ignoring the voice in my head, the one that tells me I’m a coward, I rush through Ben’s apartment.
His gym is right at the end, the open door showing the exercise equipment. I walk inside and close the door quietly behind me, knowing this is the lowest of the low. I’m hiding from my own brother. I’m making his best friend lie to him.
Walking to the corner, I sit on the weights bench, squeezing tightly onto my knees.
I hear Ben’s voice a few minutes later, followed by Alex’s.
They’re too far away for me to make out the words, but I hear the tone, warm and friendly, the sort of tone which leads a person to ask his friend to be his best man.
It’s a tone Alex may never use again once he learns the truth.
Go out there, a brave part of me cries. Go through with it. Tell Alex the truth. You can’t hide in here.
But the voice is wrong. For what feels like a long time, I remain in the gym, listening as Alex and Ben’s voices rise and fall. The words are always too quiet for me, but I cringe every time, imagining Ben breaking character and telling Alex the truth.