Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
“Before you kiss me,” she whispers, “I need to know. In this last month that we haven’t seen each other ... where you with her?”
Fuck.
That isn’t a question I want to answer, because it’s complicated.
I can’t lie to her any further, though.
I fucking can’t.
“Yeah,” I murmur.
Hurt flashes across her face, and I feel like my answer has just put the last nail in the coffin.
“Have you slept with her?”
Jesus.
Releasing her, I take a step back.
“Answer the question,” she whispers, her eyes welling with tears.
“Once.”
“And,” she croaks, the tears bursting forth and rolling down her cheeks, “did you choose her?”
“You told me it was over, baby,” I murmur, taking a step closer but she puts a hand up.
“That’s not what I’m asking. If it wasn’t over, if you had a choice, would you choose me or her?”
“Until tonight ... I was leanin’ that way, but now ...”
My words come out wrong, I know it the moment I see her expression change. She doesn’t give me a chance to explain, fuck I wish she would. She would understand that she didn’t give me a choice, she told me it was over and refused to see me. I get it, I do, but fuck, this ain’t easy. I don’t want her to think Harper was my choice, because, honestly, I felt like she was the only option I had until now.
“Baby, you left me.” I reach for her but she slaps my hand away, the tears rolling down her cheeks as she fumbles for her clothes.
“Seems like I made the right choice, then.”
Angrily, she dresses herself.
“Fuck, Janine, you haven’t spoken to me, let me see you, and you made it clear it was over. You can’t turn around and be upset when you gave me no other fucking choice.”
“You fight,” she screams, spinning to me. “If I was what you wanted, you would have fought, Muff. You would have found a way. You would have done anything you could have to get me back. You didn’t, because you had already made your choice.”
It feels like a knife to the heart. “Janine ...”
“You chose her, I’m happy for you, really,” she chokes out.
“Fuck,” I bark. “I didn’t choose her. I didn’t ... Fuck, you’re not letting me in here.”
“Like I said,” she whispers, picking up her purse and walking to the door, “if you wanted me, you would have found a way. You didn’t. You let me go, because you made your choice the moment she came back.”
With that, she steps out and slams the door.
Fuck.
“WHERE WERE YOU?”
Harper’s voice is soft and low as she sits in the apartment I rented for her a few weeks ago. I’ve been staying at the club, figuring it wasn’t a good idea to stay with her here. It’ll only complicate things more. Considering I still know nothing about what went down, I don’t think it’s wise to move any further.
Right now, I’m not in the mood.
The club is having a party, which is the reason I’m here, otherwise I would have gone there.
I just want to sleep.
Janine’s face is playing in my mind, over and over. The hurt, it fucking broke me. I don’t know how to feel about it, but I know I didn’t like it, not for a single second. Being with her tonight changed things because it made me realize just how much I’ve missed her. How the fuck do I make a choice? I know I need to because Janine is right, if I want her back, I’ll have to fight.
“Was out.”
Walking past Harper, I head toward the shower. I can smell Janine on me, with every movement her perfume washes into my senses, reminding me just how fucking incredible tonight was.
“I can smell her.”
Harper’s voice is soft, low, and I know I’m about to face another woman who wants an answer from me that I can’t give. Turning to face her, I know it’s best not to lie. I’ve been honest with her thus far, and I’m not about to change that. I fucked everything up by lying, so it’s one thing I know for certain I’m not about to do again.
“She’s my wife, Harper.”
Her eyes grow sad. “I know, but ... you haven’t seen her and I thought ... we’ve slept together, Brian. I figured that meant we were moving forward, you know, together?”
“Get why you’d think that, but I never said those words.”
“No, but ...”
“You women have got to stop assuming you know how I feel.”
Her eyes widen. “I never said ...”
“You don’t have to,” I growl, kicking off my boots. “You want me with you, she wants me with her, and neither of you have stopped to think about how fucking hard that is for me. Do you have any idea what it’s like to know I’m goin’ to break someone’s heart? It’ll hurt me, no matter what way I go, but it’ll hurt the person I leave behind more. It’s fucked. I’m fucking so sick of it.”