Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Unbothered by my hesitation, Jacob turns to me, pushing the door closed, and begins kissing my neck.
I don’t take my eyes off the basin.
His hand runs down my back and over my bottom.
My eyes still don’t move.
The door swings open and Jacob startles, releasing me and turning just in time to see Muff stepping in, shoving the door closed behind him.
“What the fuck man, we’re busy.”
“You’re busy,” Muff grinds out, his eyes locked on mine, “with my wife.”
He looks dangerous tonight, with his well-fitting black jeans and button-down white shirt, the top undone and the sleeves rolled to his elbows. His thick hair is down around his shoulders, making his eyes pop. He looks so fucking good; it only makes this that much harder.
“What?” Jacob asks, glancing down at me.
“We’re not together,” I say, my tone clipped. “You can leave now, Brian. Thank you.”
Muff grins, but it isn’t playful, it’s a challenge. “No, I think I might stay.”
Jacob looks between us, then throws his hands up. “Yeah, this is too fucking weird for me. I’m out.”
He disappears out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and leaving Muff and I standing alone, the pounding music outside the only sound that can be heard. Our eyes are locked, and my breathing is ragged as I stare at him, wanting him so fucking badly it burns and yet remembering that his heart is with another woman.
The thought makes that same nauseating feeling come washing back.
“This is how you deal with things? By fucking other men?”
“Last time I checked, I’m no longer your concern.”
“Last time I checked—” he takes a step forward, his expression intense “—you weren’t this easy.”
I flinch. “Well, what can I say, I’ve let my hair down.”
“I doubt that.”
Crossing my arms, I tip my head to the side. “You think I don’t have it in me to be crazy, spontaneous, adventurous?”
“No,” he answers simply. “No, I don’t.”
“Fuck you, Muff.”
“Tell me the last thing you did that wasn’t careful and safe. You’re not a wild girl, Janine, stop actin’ like you are.”
“Yes, well, being nice got me where, exactly?” I spit. “You’re off fucking another woman while I wait around with a broken heart.”
He jerks.
“I’m not fucking her.”
I don’t know if that makes me feel better or not.
“It’ll only be a matter of time,” I whisper.
“If I didn’t come in here tonight, that man would be balls fuckin’ deep in you so don’t act like you’re not goin’ to do the same thing.”
So, he’s thinking of fucking her?
That burns.
“I’d appreciate if you left me alone,” I say, trying to stop my voice from shaking as I go to step past him.
He reaches out, stopping me. “This isn’t you.”
I jerk my arm from his grips. “You don’t know me anymore.”
“I know that you don’t do shit like this. Don’t change who you are because you’re hurtin’.”
“Maybe,” I grind out, “I’m going to change who I am so I don’t get hurt any further by people like you.”
His eyes flash with hurt.
“So you’ll go fuck other people to make yourself feel better instead of givin’ me a chance to fix this shit?”
I nod. “Yes. That’s basically it.”
I take a step past him.
“You don’t have it in you,” he growls, his voice low, “to be that wild. Your life is structured and perfect, you play it safe because you’re too afraid of what will happen if you don’t.”
“Yes, well, look where that got me. I’m done being the nice girl.”
With that, I leave him in the bathroom alone.
One thing is for sure, I am done being the nice girl.
It has done little to help me.
From now on, I’ll be whoever the fuck I want.
“I MISS MUFF,” EBONY murmurs as she trails behind me at the store.
Her words hurt because I know she loves him. I know how much it hurts for her not to have him in the house every night, even though he visits her daily. Ebony is smart, and she knows something is going on even though I told her Muff is just busy at the club. She can see straight through me, and it breaks my heart to know that.
“I know, honey,” I say, stopping to face her. “If you’d like, I can ask him if you can stay the night with him?”
“Why can’t he just come and stay at home?”
It’s a big question I don’t know how to answer.
“He just has a lot happening at the club right now, it’s better if he’s there.”
“You don’t talk to him.” She frowns. “Are you angry at him?”
It kills me to think that, eventually, I’ll have to tell her the truth.
“No, honey,” I say. “Come on, why don’t you pick something delicious for dinner? What’s your favorite?”
“Spaghetti!” she chirps, rushing down the aisle to fetch some pasta.
Max drools over his fist in his seat on the shopping cart, and I smile down at him. Every single day, he looks more and more like his dad. It makes it so damned hard sometimes, but I wouldn’t change a single thing about him. I reach down, swiping my finger over his chubby cheek, making him smile at me. He has the biggest, most beautiful smile, and it warms my heart and eases some of the raging pain swimming through my body right now.