Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
A pause.
“Just let me speak to you. Can you at least give me that? Ten minutes, it’s all I’m asking.”
Do I want to hear what he has to say? Can I handle it? Part of me wants to scream and tell him to go to hell, but the other part wants to hear what it is he has to say. “Ten minutes, and then you’re going to leave me alone.”
“Fine.”
Fine.
Hanging up, I walk over to the mini bar and take out a bottle of vodka, it’s one of those tiny ones.
Opening it, I swallow it down.
I’m going to need it to get through the next ten minutes.
8 – Muff
SHE GAVE ME THE NAME of the hotel that she’s staying at, and I immediately begin the walk over there. It’s only a few blocks away. Harper has been calling, over and over, but I haven’t taken them. I need to fix one fucking thing at a time. My entire world blew up tonight, and it’s my own stupid fucking fault. That doesn’t change the fact that I now have two women in my life that, at one point or another, I loved with everything I am.
Reaching Janine’s hotel room, I knock on the door.
It takes a moment, but, eventually, she answers.
Wearing one of my long, faded shirts and nothing else, she stares at me with bloodshot green eyes. Her dark red hair is down, tangled and curling around her shoulders, making her flushed cheeks stand out even more. She’s so fucking beautiful, the kind of beautiful you rarely see. I wanted her from the very fucking moment I saw her and now I’ve fucking ruined everything.
“Ten minutes,” she whispers, stepping aside.
I walk in and stand by the bed as she locks the door before turning to face me. She brings her arms up and crosses them, as if protecting herself from me. That fucking hurts. Her eyes, though, and the pain in their depths is enough to bring me to my fucking knees. I take a step toward her, but she shakes her head, a silent warning for me not to come any closer.
It's time to explain.
“I thought she was dead. That is the truth. We were young, in love and got married. Her family, they were involved in bad shit, and, one day, she went missing. Searched for fucking months and not a single trace of her could be found. Eventually, she was declared dead, there wasn’t a single lead, and the police told me she must have met with foul play. It was the only explanation. Her family had no answers, but I always suspected they were behind it.”
Janine swallows, but she doesn’t say anything.
“After she was declared dead, I ended the marriage, moved on with my life. Then those police officers showed up, and they told me she was alive. I haven’t been given any more information, and for now, they won’t tell me where she was, but she was in protection and they allowed us to believe she was dead for her own safety. I didn’t know she was alive. I swear to fuckin’ anything, I didn’t.”
“You think that’s what is hurting me so much.” Janine shakes her head. “You’re missing the entire point. I don’t care that you were married. If you had told me, I would have understood. You chose to lie, and not only that, you chose to go behind my back to see her. You didn’t stop and think of me, you made a choice, and I wasn’t in it.”
“You were in it,” I bark. “Fuck, I was doin’ it so I didn’t hurt you, Janine. I didn’t want you to fuckin’ hurt. Can’t you see that?”
“You didn’t want to hurt me?” She laughs, bitterly, her head shaking as pure rage washes over her face. “Oh, well, you definitely did a great job.”
“Fuck, what would you have me do?”
“Tell the fucking truth,” she screams. “Tell me that you had a wife from the fucking start, tell me she was dead, and when she showed up, fucking tell me. You lied! You made a choice, and it was the wrong one.”
“So you end our fucking relationship?” I shout back, fists clenching by my sides.
“You want me to wait? You want me to just sit around and let you decide if you want me or her?”
“I want you to give me a fucking chance to sort my head out. I need time. Fuck, you have no idea what this is like. A bit of understanding would go a long fuckin’ way.”
Her eyes grow sad, and fuck, it hurts.
It kills me to see her like this.
“I understand, I do, but that doesn’t change the fact that you made a choice to lie to me and if I didn’t find out, I don’t even know how long that lie would have gone on,” she whispers, “I’m not waiting for you. I have had so much shit in my life, Brian. I don’t deserve this, and I won’t sit around praying you’ll choose me. It shouldn’t even be a choice.”