Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 69170 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69170 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
I lost sight of that. The fact that it was having her in my life that had made it so special. The fact that all my best memories were with her and the love we shared. Does this mean that Jo no longer loves me?
That she’s not just being mad and hurt because of the affair? I thought for sure that once the anger faded, she would see sense and accept that it wasn’t worth it to throw away the life we’d built together.
Until now, until that phone call, I think I really did believe there was a chance that we could come back from this. I made myself believe that she loved me too much to just walk away over a stupid mistake.
I looked back at the hospital room door and walked in the opposite direction. I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this. My heart was hurting so bad I had to rub my chest, and when I got into my car, I had to sit there for a while before I could turn the key in the ignition.
Things that had been muddled for the last little while became much clearer. Now, there were no clouds and no doubts about what I wanted, but I think it might be too late.
Not only that, but it seemed I had thrown my life away for someone who didn’t even want me; she just wanted to hurt my wife. I’m not sure how to feel about that, but this day has been one of awakening. I must’ve had blinders on before, I guess, not to see what was right in front of me.
From what little I’d overheard, it would appear that the whole thing was planned between mother and daughter. Her coming to work for me was not by chance; it was a setup from beginning to end.
The worst part is coming to terms with the fact that it worked and that they knew it would. What does that say about me? What was it about me that made them so sure I’d give in?
JOLENE
I sat staring at the wall after the call from my lawyer. I looked forward to this day for so long, but now that it was here, I wasn’t sure how I felt. There was numbness, sorrow, fear, and so much more that I can’t put into words.
I was still sitting in a daze ten minutes later when the doorbell rang. I opened it and was surprised to see who was standing there. “Daddy?” It has been a while since my parents came all the way out here from their vacation place in the boondocks.
We talk every day on the phone, so they know what’s been going on in my life, but I didn’t expect them to make the trek out here, especially in the middle of his vacation. “May I come in?”
“What kinda question is that, Daddy? Of course, you can come inside.”
I stepped out of the way, and he followed me inside to the kitchen, where I headed for the coffee pot out of habit. “You hungry, Daddy? Should I fix you something?”
“Stop fussing about and sit down. Where’s your staff?”
“They’re gone for the day. There isn’t really much for them to do, so I let them leave by noon most days.” He nodded his head and accepted his coffee, which was made just the way he liked it. Cream and a shit ton of sugar.
“So, what brings you here?”
“Your mama has been keeping me up to date with what’s been going on with you and Kevin.” Oh no, please don’t try to convince me of anything because I’m already feeling raw as it is.
I didn’t voice this out loud, but he knows me well enough, I guess, to know my train of thought. “I’m not going to tell you what you should or should not do. You’re the only one who knows what’s best for you. I have only one thing to ask.”
“What might that be?”
“Some people, if they have a vase that gets broken, they can patch it back up and go along about their lives, not caring that that vase is no longer the same. Some people, even though the vase has been patched up, and no one else can see the cracks, and where it was glued back together, they know where every crack is and try to live with it as long as no one else sees them.”
“And then there are those who don’t want that vase no how, because no matter if others realize that it’s broken, they know that it’s broken and they don’t want no part of it, they want a new vase. You have to decide which one of these people you are.”
I started bawling the way I did when I was a little whippersnapper who fell and skinned my knee. And just like then, my dad hugged me and told me it was going to be okay.