Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 45918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 230(@200wpm)___ 184(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 230(@200wpm)___ 184(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
She doesn’t even hesitate to follow me, but she does ask, “Where are we going?”
I’m trying to figure out how in the hell I’m going to do it, but for Chrissy, I can do anything. “I’m going to give you a shower.”
She does stop then. “What?”
I look at her, taking in the circles under her eyes. “I’m going to give you a shower, Chrissy.”
She doesn’t cringe, seem upset or worried. She just looks up at me. I’m not sure what to make of her lack of a response. “Unless you want me to get Haven or Cat or Luciana over here. If that would make you more comfortable, I can call one of them.”
She just shrugs. “I can shower on my own.”
I put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re dead on your feet, honey. I can do this.” I shrug my shoulders. “I mean, do you trust me?”
She rolls her eyes. “Really, Gabe? Do you even have to ask me that? I trust you more than I trust anyone.”
I nod and huff out a breath. My whole body feels like it’s electric, but for Chrissy, I will pull myself together and take care of her like she deserves. Even if it kills me.
13
CHRISSY
“I’m sorry, Gabe.”
I’ve made everything about me, and I know he’s hurting as much as I am. He and Ledger were close, and he’s going to need to grieve too. He shouldn’t have to keep it together just for me.
He puts his hands on my shoulders and squeezes me gently. “What do you have to be sorry for?”
I sniff and try not to tear up again. “You lost a brother, too. You shouldn’t have to be here taking care of me. I’m fine, Gabe. You should be out with your friends—”
He cuts me off by putting his finger over my mouth. “This is where I should be.”
I pull back and smile at him. “You should be where you want to be. You should be taking care of yourself, not having to take care of me.”
“This is where I want to be, honey.” He releases me and then walks toward my bed. “You still leave your pajamas under your pillow?”
It always amazes me the things he remembers about me. “Yeah, old habits die hard.”
He picks up my pillow, and it’s not until he pulls out my sleep shirt that I remember the shirt I slept in last night. I was mad at Gabe, but I felt guilty that our conversation ended like it did, and I wanted a way to be close to him. I’ve hoarded tons of shirts of his through the years, but I’m not sure if he knows it. Heat rises up my neck and across my cheeks. Oh my God, a hole could open up and swallow me now because this is embarrassing.
He unfolds the shirt and holds it up. “This is my old academy shirt.”
It’s a navy blue T-shirt. The fire academy’s logo is on the chest, and on the back, Gray is spelled out in big red letters. Holding it in one hand, he asks, “Is this what you are wearing to bed, honey?”
I nod, looking over his shoulder instead of into his eyes. It scares me how good Gabe can read me sometimes, and I don’t want him to see what I’m thinking right now. He puts a hand at my waist and guides me to the bathroom. He stops next to the shower stall, reaches in, and turns on the water.
When there is steam coming from the water, he turns to me. “I’m going to help you, okay?”
My breath comes out in little pants. How many times have I dreamed about this scenario but it was never like this, not for these reasons. “I can shower myself, Gabe.”
He puts one of his big rough hands on my cheek gently. He wipes his thumb under my eye and wipes a tear away that I didn’t even realize was there. The emotions are so heavy they are weighing me down.
He pulls me toward him and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Let me take care of you, Chrissy. I need to do this, okay?”
When he releases his hold on me, he searches my eyes, and I give in. I can’t tell him no—heck, I don’t want to. “Okay.”
He squats down in front of me and puts a hand on each side of my waist. He tugs the material of my scrub pants down, and I put my hands on his shoulder as I step out of them. He does my underwear next, and I’m holding a breath as I step out of them and his head is right there next to my nether regions.
He stands up then, and I avoid his eyes. He takes off my shirt and then my bra. He’s very methodical about it all, and the whole time, I feel like my heart is going to explode from my chest. Gently, he helps me into the shower. First, with my back to him, he washes my hair. The hot water is beating down on my chest as he pulls his fingers through my hair. He’s standing in the shower with me, fully clothed, avoiding the spray of water. He turns me to rinse my hair, but then as soon as he’s done, he spins me so my back is to him again.