Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Lou went quiet. She’d never thought about it like that. Those days had been precious. Just her and TJ in a car, driving across the country. They’d sang along to music they both loved and ate greasy diner food and stopped at dumb tourist sites to take pictures. In every one of them, he was smiling like he was having the time of his life. When they stopped at a motel for the night, he would cuddle up with her and watch TV until she fell asleep and then she would wake up with him in the bed next to hers.
At the time she’d taken it as proof that he couldn’t love her, but what if that was the wrong conclusion? Life wasn’t an equation where everything balanced perfectly. The math of any relationship was messy, with shifting inequalities that—if the relationship was right—somehow balanced out in the end.
Her mother wasn’t finished. “During your senior year, he called your father and I when he was worried you were overloaded academically. It’s why we skipped Thanksgiving and took you and your brother to Hawaii.”
Tears pricked her eyes because she remembered that semester. Senior year in college, and she’d taken on way too much. She’d been ready to break, but TJ called her every chance he got. He sent her letters and gifts for her to open when she completed the assignments she’d needed to. It had given her the push she needed, a reminder that she wasn’t alone. It hadn’t been much. A book she wanted to read. A stuffed penguin. A bracelet with tiny diamonds that now that she thought about it probably cost him a lot. And then he’d called her parents. She’d needed that week away from everything. “I thought you wanted to surprise me.”
Her mom put a hand over hers. “I wanted to give you what you needed. He came home that year and I know how much he wanted to see you, but he wanted you healthy and happy more.”
He’d sent flowers to her hotel room with a card wishing her the happiest Thanksgiving, and she’d wondered if he was relieved he hadn’t had to spend time with her that holiday. She’d spent her time wondering if he was bringing home a woman to meet his family. Or if he was just hooking up with whoever was around.
She’d thought of herself and put the worst spin on anything he did.
He never forgot a birthday. Always knew what presents would make her happy.
Everyone called him Fucking TJ, the guy who just kept stringing her along.
What if he was TJ, the guy who really couldn’t stand the thought of losing her?
“I know you’re scared, and I would bet you’ve come up with a million ways this ends poorly. You’re sitting there asking all the wrong questions. Or you keep asking questions you know the answer to. You think he’s clinging to you like a teddy bear because something bad happened to him. Well, sometimes we need a push. He could have viewed his kidnapping as proof that his life was too dangerous for you.”
Lou snorted.
Her mom shrugged. “Men can ignore the truth a lot. Your dad still thinks all you do is sit behind a computer, so if you want to be mad at TJ for that, throw your father in that jail, too.”
“He found out how well I can handle myself. I showed him how capable I am.”
“Before or after he tossed you on a bed and made a meal of you?”
She was right, but did she have to put it that way? “Mom, really?”
Her mom shrugged. “I’ve been around lifestylers for long enough to become comfortable with sex. It’s important, and that’s a lesson I never learn if I didn’t meet your dad. I think about it a lot, you know. When you guys first came to Ian and the Sanctum board with your plans for your own club, I had to sit with it for a while. Do you want to know what I decided?”
Did she? “Sure.”
“I decided that I would rather have you in a club that takes sex seriously with a bunch of people who watch out for you than on a single dating app rolling the dice. I would rather you had good sex and learned to appreciate your body and value yourself than sleeping with guys because you hoped the connection was right when you have no real idea what their intentions are. The club is a place for honesty. You can make proper decisions because you’ll have the data you need.”
“Mom, I never had sex in the club until last night, and even then it was a private thing,” Lou admitted.
“He took you to a privacy room because it was your first time, baby. Again, that boy knows how to do things properly. I assure you if he’s anything like his father he’ll be parading you around soon enough.”