Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
It’s odd that I often told girls what they wanted to hear without batting an eye. Praising their looks, their bodies, their smell. It came all too naturally to me, but with him…it’s hard.
No, not hard.
Embarrassing? I don’t know, maybe because he’s the first person I’ve cared about this deeply, so I don’t want to fuck it up.
And I’m not sure if you can praise a man’s looks out loud, even if you’re fucking. He knows I’m obsessed with his smell and doesn’t mind when I bury my face in his neck, but I’m not sure if I can take it any further.
Anyway, Mom was a bit useless.
So I had a convo with my new bestie, V, the Reddit version.
TooPrettyForThisMess
So, you were kind of right. It’s not only sexual. I don’t think it ever was tbh.
QuietRage
I KNEW it haha you’re in looove.
STFU I’m not in love. Anyway, I kind of want to take care of him. Is that a thing in gay relationships?
I don’t see why it shouldn’t be. But you’re barking up the wrong tree. Never had a gay relationship.
I don’t want to treat him like a girl. I think that would be offensive or something?
Not sure if it’d be offensive, bro. Just do what feels right.
Have you had dates with your guy yet?
He’s not my goddamn guy and I don’t want to see his fucking face.
Getting pissy, are we?
Just don’t bring him up today, okay? I’m getting a headache.
Okay. What did you use to do with your girlfriend? My real serious one left way too soon and I was a teen.
She loved movies, so we did that.
We can’t do anything in public. That’s so unhelpful.
Then maybe you should come out in public. Have you talked about a relationship or something?
We HAVE to talk about that?
Uh, kind of? Jeez you’re like a fetus on the emotional side.
But why? We’re already together.
As fuck buddies. That’s different from a relationship, my dude.
But I already told you it’s not only about the sex.
Telling me is cool and all, but you kind of have to tell HIM. Talk about it and all that jazz. Jesus. Get a grip, man. Even I have more emotional awareness than you. The bar is in hell.
That convo with V left me even more confused.
Next. Grandpa.
I had to be careful with him, because the moment I said I was brainstorming about how to make my recent crush happy, it went like this.
“Are you obsessing, Gareth?”
“Absolutely not.” Lie of the fucking century.
“Good. As long as it’s harmless.”
“Cross my heart.” Epic liar. Hey, that’s me.
But if Grandpa thinks I am obsessing, he’ll put an end to this whole thing.
Because he’s seen me obsessed with Harper and he’s seen the pool of blood and the dead eyes that followed.
Ever since then, I promised him that I’d never allow myself to get obsessed again.
Well, I’m more than obsessed with Kayden. These deranged feelings make my fixation on Harper seem like child’s play.
But Grandpa doesn’t need to know that.
He suggested I should dazzle her with my money, looks, and prestigious background. Any girl should be grateful I’m even giving her a chance.
Of course, there’s no girl, and Kayden is far from impressed by my riches and prestigious background.
Like, the man truly hates it when I overspend and keeps giving me this frown as if he doesn’t know how to fix it.
I bought him a car—a slick Aston Martin Vantage—because he doesn’t have one. When I took him to his building's underground parking garage and dangled the keys in front of him with a “Ta-da!” he looked at me with that poker face, then raised an eyebrow. “You’re replacing your baby Medusa?”
“Over my dead body.”
“Because she’s so special?”
“Yes, she is, and stop being jealous of a car.”
“I will when you stop calling her baby.”
“Wow. Petty.”
He scowled and I laughed. “Anyway, this is for you.”
“For me?”
“Uh-huh. What do you think?”
“You bought me a car?”
“Yeah.”
“An Aston Martin?”
“Obviously.”
“Why?”
“Because you have to walk too far in this shitty weather, and I can’t drive you all the time.”
“You bought me an expensive car because I walk in the rain?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing.” I grinned, trying—and failing—not to sound too eager. “I’m rich, so this didn’t even scratch my trust fund.”
“Clearly.” He gave the keys a side-eye. “Return it, Gareth.”
“But why? You don’t want to commute to college comfortably?”
“This is flashy and will draw attention. No one would believe a college professor can afford this.” He pinned me with an austere look. “And I don’t need you to be my sugar daddy.”
I swallowed, my chest falling at the rejection and his stoic tone. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.”
He let out one of those soft sighs mixed with a smile and stroked my hair—the same hair I’ve been letting grow long because he likes yanking me up by it and running his fingers through it until I fall asleep.