Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 69155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
He’s reading me like an open damned book.
“You think I’m pathetic ...” I whisper.
“No,” he growls, squeezing my jaw slightly. Not hard, just enough to get his point across. “No, I think you’re fuckin’ broken by a man who was meant to love you. I’ve seen what you can do, Zariah. You’re a bad ass and you’re a cop. You could have fought back at any point, but you didn’t, you didn’t because you convince yourself that you’re not like him, that he’ll change, that you love him. He had you exactly where he wanted you.”
I jerk my head out of his grips. “You’ve made your point.”
“You’re just not gettin’ the point I’m makin’.”
“I am, you think I’m fucking broken and all twisted up. Like a piece of wire tangled around itself, so badly that even if I untangle, I’ll never be the same again. You think I can’t get past this. I’m just a fucked up little human, because of the actions of one man.”
“You’re sayin’ that, not me.”
I look at him. “You saw just how deep this goes. You saw it the other night.”
He grunts, crossing his arms. “Because you liked watchin’ me fuck someone? You think because that turned you on, that you’re fuckin’ broken? You think that makes you different? I’m here to tell you it don’t, there is nothin’ wrong with what happened, you’re just so fuckin’ uptight you won’t let that part of yourself out. Underneath it all, Zariah, there’s a fuckin’ caged animal, and one day you’ll let it loose.”
I swallow, my breathing deep and yet shallow all at the same time. “Does it scare you?”
His eyes flash and he leans forward. “Fuck no.”
“What if I told you that I liked it, that I liked when he’d hurt me and then fuck me, because it made my body feel things I couldn’t feel unless it was like that. What if I told you maybe, just maybe, I let him do it because part of me needed it.”
He takes my jaw in his hand again and gets closer. “I’d say that you’re bein’ the most truthful with yourself right now then you’ve ever been, and you need to do that a whole lot fuckin’ more if you want to get past this man.”
He’s not shocked.
Not confused.
Not disgusted.
I just told him something I have utterly refused to admit to myself. I’ve had it deep down, locked away in those cages he speaks of, never wanting to let it up because the fear of what it would mean scares the life out of me. I’ve not once allowed myself to admit that sometimes, after Reece hurt me, he would fuck me, and it would feel so good I’d come to crave it. I’d come to need it in the most sick and twisted way I could ever imagine.
“Pain turns me on,” I whisper, low. “I’m turned on by a twisted situation. Things that aren’t normal. You can’t tell me that I’m not fucked up.”
“You’re human. We all have shit that others wouldn’t understand, believe me.”
He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. He wouldn’t understand. If I told him my deepest, darkest desires he wouldn’t understand.
“Trust me, you wouldn’t get it.”
“Try me, Zariah. Tell me what you’re thinkin’ right now, no matter what it is. See what happens.”
I look him dead in the eye.
“I want you to put your hands in my pants and rub me until I am writhing in pleasure and pain, but not touch a single other part of my body. I don’t want you to touch me. I just want you to bring me pleasure. Pure pleasure. The pain my body will give me, makes it feel even better. What do you say about that, Kendric?” I say in a low tone.
His eyes flash. “I’d say that’s fuckin’ nothin’. You can go so much fuckin’ deeper than that and you wouldn’t scare me.”
I swallow and our eyes don’t part as he steps toward me. “Is that what you want me to do to you right now?”
“You hate me. That only makes me want it more.”
He bares his teeth in a feral kind of way that makes my heart race and my legs clench. I want him but only because I know he doesn’t want me. He wants to fuck me, sure, but he can’t stand me. Deep down he hates everything I allowed to happen to him, he wants me to suffer, and he’s made it very clear how he feels. That only makes this more thrilling. Knowing that makes my body hum with a twisted kind of pleasure.
“Don’t make a sound,” he growls stepping up to my bed and slipping his hand between the sheets. He finds my pussy beneath the hospital gown, bare and aching, and immediately he locates my clit and starts rubbing. He rubs slow, sensual, with the kind of precision most men could never figure out let alone do without seeing anything.