Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 145634 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 728(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145634 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 728(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
My brow furrows. I didn’t think Ma had ever seen us together back then. “Nah, I used to give her a ride home sometimes though,” I say, scratching the back of my head and wondering what all Ma saw.
“That could be. All I know is that I could’ve sworn you two were going to get into trouble in the back of your car.”
I look over at Emma, the sizzling of the pan filling out the awkward silence in the room.
Emma clears her throat, a violent blush on her cheeks. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Wade.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you, too.” Ma takes a few steps forward and I leave the stove to try to help her walk into the kitchen and toward the island, but she shoos me away. “It took him long enough.”
“The first time I saw you I thought you were bad news.” Emma’s eyes go wide as she listens to Ma. I grunt a laugh.
“I think you got a few things mixed up,” I mutter, plating the eggs and putting the bacon in the pan on the back of the stove. I add more butter to the first pan and wait for it to melt.
“I saw you sneak around the back of the house.” I tilt my head, looking at Ma as I set the knife down on the counter. There’s no way she saw us back then. She used to yell at me all the time about the shit I was into. I’ll never forget how guilty she made me feel when I first started selling. I had to lie to her. I kept everything from her. I was careful about it so I wouldn’t break her heart.
It would kill her if she knew. Even today she’ll swear up and down it’s my father who gave me a bad reputation. She’d go to her grave thinking I’m taking the fall for him. She has no idea.
I ignore the guilt growing in my chest and turn back to the stove, my heart clenching just knowing the pain it would cause her if she found out. I did what I had to do. She thinks I made extra money working at the factory. She didn’t know I was selling dope out of the back. I’ll never tell her, and I’ll kill any prick who even thinks about spreading the fucked up truth to her.
“You always thought you were getting away with everything, Derek.” Ma points her finger at me, shaking it slightly, but there’s a smile on her face. “Back then I knew a little. Maybe I’m losing it now, but back then I was onto you.”
Emma’s face is bright red, but a smile is plastered on her lips. “I promise you, I had the best intentions,” Emma says just as comically as Ma, with her hand on her heart. I shake my head, looking between the two of them. Emma raises her voice as she says, “I swear we never did anything.”
“And now?” Ma asks.
“And now what?” Emma asks.
“What are you two doing now?”
“Ma!” Jesus. No wonder I never brought a girl home.
Ma shrugs, a smug look on her face. Emma’s hiding behind a hand in front of her face, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter, and she can’t look either of us in the eyes.
My mother takes a few steps to the stool. She’s nearly out of breath by the time she gets there and Emma’s quick to help get her steady on the stool. There’s a back to it, but even with that, it’s bar height and I’m not sure she should be sitting on it.
“You sure you want to be up there? I can bring breakfast to your room.” I stand behind my mother, my hand on the back of her chair as I set a plate in front of her. It’s just eggs, but usually she's able to eat eggs without any nausea.
“I like it out here just fine,” Ma says, a little out of breath although she’s trying to hide it.
Emma looks between the two of us, and I can tell she’s not sure what to think. She has no idea Ma has cancer, that she’s not doing well; but it’s more than obvious she’s not healthy. She looks so much older than she is. I wish I’d introduced them back when we were in high school. Looking at the worry in Emma’s eyes, I know I should’ve told her about Ma. I’m gonna have to explain it later.
“You could’ve told me you had a girl, Derek,” Ma says as she spears a fork into her eggs.
I that she looks fragile and weak compared to the strong woman I remember her as.
It’s been a long time since I’ve actually looked at her. Like really looked at her.
Ma puts her fork down next to her plate, and the silver clinks against the ceramic as her hand shakes. “Could you grab me a cup of milk, dear?” Ma sets her elbow on the table, resting her head in her hand.