Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Listening to the sound of the waves crashing, I sat down on a large rock and took out my phone. Once again, I scrolled down to his name and typed: I miss you.
But this time, I actually sent it.
CHAPTER 29
* * *
JOSH
I LOOKED AROUND the restaurant, anywhere but at her. There was nothing wrong with Sydney, and she held the distinction of being the first woman I’d gone out with since being back in Chicago. I’d forced myself to return to the dating app because it was the only way I stood a chance at moving on. Based on my lack of interest from almost the moment we sat down, though, it would seem that decision might have been a bit premature.
Sydney had done most of the talking this evening. She told me her divorce was recently finalized, and she’d just reentered the dating scene.
“This is my first time out, actually,” she explained.
Great. First time out, and it was wasted on a man who wasn’t that into her. Now I really felt bad for the poor woman. “I didn’t realize that. You mean like the first date since your husband?”
“Yes.”
“You said you were new to the dating scene. I didn’t actually think this was your first date.”
“It is. And I feel like I won the jackpot.” She batted her lashes. “You’re adorable.”
“Well, thank you.” I swirled my drink. “This is my first time out in a while as well…since I’ve been back.”
“Back?” She tilted her head. “Where did you go?”
“I went home to Woodsboro, New Hampshire, to take care of a family issue.”
“Oh.” She placed her napkin on her lap. “Is all well now?”
“Yeah.” I lifted my hand to order another drink. Even the mention of Woodsboro made me feel like I was gonna need it. An ache grew in my chest as I waited for the waitress to deliver it, and that ache was only made worse by Sydney’s next question.
“When was your last relationship, Josh?”
Without thinking it through, I answered, “I don’t really do relationships. I haven’t had a girlfriend since high school.”
Wow. That was the canned response that had always been at the tip of my tongue. But it felt wrong saying it this time. It was wrong. Sydney had opened up to me about her divorce, and in return, I’d just lied to her face. Carly and I might not have been officially “boyfriend and girlfriend,” but to identify what we’d had as anything less than a relationship was a lie. Even the word relationship didn’t quite seem strong enough. It was a true partnership, even if only for a few months. And even though it was over now, it felt unnatural to pretend like it never happened.
“Actually, that’s not really true.” I shook my head and stared down into my empty glass. “I’m sorry.”
Sydney blinked in confusion. “Oh?”
The waitress placed my new drink in front of me, and I took a long sip before slamming the glass down harder than intended. “I was in a relationship recently. Back in New Hampshire. It ended about a month ago.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why did you lie?”
“I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it. I’m sorry.”
Sydney nodded sympathetically. “The wounds are still fresh, then.”
My chest felt tight. “You could say that.”
“Can I ask what happened?”
“It was a mutual decision. Like me, she was only in New Hampshire temporarily. We live on separate sides of the country.” I swallowed.
Another lie. That wasn’t the reason we weren’t together at all. I’d have gone anywhere for Carly, if things were simpler.
“Actually...that’s not entirely true, either.” I took another long sip of my drink. “Admitting what I did is a little difficult.”
“You’re not a very good liar, Josh.” She laughed. “You confess the truth within seconds.”
“Fuck. I know.” I rubbed my temples. “I’m genuinely sorry, Sydney. I really am. You aren’t getting the best version of me tonight, I’m afraid. I’ve been out of sorts ever since I came back.”
She flicked her red hair, leaning in curiously. “What did you do that was so bad?”
I took a deep breath, bracing for judgment. “Carly was engaged to my best friend in the world before he died. Brad was killed in a car accident a few years ago.”
“You moved in on his fiancée?”
A knot formed in my stomach. “It’s not as simple as that. It wasn’t like I decided to go after her because he wasn’t around. In fact, I never liked her much when they were together.” I chuckled. “You could even say we hated each other.”
“Why did you not like each other?”
“Misunderstandings. Preconceived notions that weren’t true. Dumb decisions on my part. Take your pick. We don’t really know anyone until we spend time with them.”
She tilted her head. “So how did you end up dating her, then?”
At that point, I explained the whole situation with Scottie and everything that had happened over those few months back in Woodsboro.