I Could Never Read Online Penelope Ward

Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Forbidden Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
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“What the fuck is wrong with him, taking my kid’s iPad?” the man raged.

“He has autism,” I said, panting. “He doesn’t know right from wrong. He loves iPads, so he thought…”

The guy’s eyes moved back and forth in confusion. “Well, keep a better eye on him, then.” He then carted his snotty-nosed kid away.

Carly ran over to us, looking frazzled. “What happened, Josh? I saw the commotion, so I left the concession line.”

“I turned around for literally three seconds, and Scottie grabbed some kid’s iPad. The dad thought he was a thief. He almost hurt him.” My voice cracked.

“Oh no.” She covered her mouth.

“I shouldn’t have taken my eyes off him.”

She rubbed my arm. “It’s not your fault, Josh.”

“It is. I turned my back. Anything could’ve happened.”

“That could’ve happened to either of us. It’s not easy taking him out. You had no way of knowing he would do that. He’s so erratic sometimes.”

She held Scottie’s hand and used her other hand to run her fingers softly through my hair. “It’s okay. You’ve done so much for him...for both of us these past few months. Give yourself grace, okay? He’s fine. We’re all fine.”

We’re all fine.

Except I felt hollow inside that our time together was ending. And poor Scottie didn’t realize what was coming.

We’re all fine.

Closing my eyes, I relished the feel of Carly’s touch, which brought me so much comfort. So undeserving.

I shook my head to snap out of this haze. “Okay. It’s over. Let’s get the tree and get home.”

The rest of our time there went fairly smoothly. I tied the tree to the top of Carly’s car, and after Scottie was safely in the backseat, watching his iPad, I left him with Carly and went back over to the concession stand to get us all some hot cocoa for the ride home. I told them to put extra milk in Scottie’s so it wasn’t too hot. He seemed to like it.

The Carpenters’ “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” came on the radio as we drove back. The soothing sound of the singer’s voice calmed me a bit. I vowed not to let what happened this afternoon ruin the rest of our night.

Back home, as Carly and I set up the Christmas tree, Scottie bounced around, playing some reverse Elton John. Normally, he’d sit or escape to his room, so it seemed like he was intentionally hanging out with us tonight. He knew the lights were coming, and it was cute to see him so excited—especially about something that wasn’t an electronic device. Inhaling a deep whiff of the fresh pine smell, I let it take me back for a moment to the many Christmases I’d spent in this house.

Carly went to her bedroom for a moment and came back holding a large red box. “I have a surprise.”

I stopped messing with the tangled lights. “What is it?”

“A while back, I found this box of Christmas decorations. I know we bought some ornaments at Walmart, but we can add some of the Longos’, too.”

“Holy shit, Carly. That’s awesome.”

We opened the box together. The bulbs were wrapped in tissue paper, and we carefully unwrapped each one. Some looked to be many years old. One had Brad’s name written in glitter on it.

At one point, Carly lifted another out and said, “Josh, look...”

Wow. There it is.

“It’s yours.” She smiled.

I still recalled the day Brad and I had sat at the kitchen table and made these with Yvonne. I’d always loved seeing my name on their tree each year. Christmas here had felt like a true holiday, unlike the depressing scene back at Dad’s. After my mother left, he never put up a Christmas tree.

“We made one for Scottie, too, that day,” I recalled. “It has to be in there somewhere.”

We eventually found Scottie’s ornament, along with so many other sentimental ones I remembered. We hung each and every one of them and didn’t need many of the ones from Walmart at all. There wasn’t any room.

Then I got an idea. “Be right back,” I said as I disappeared into Scottie’s room.

I knew he had some glitter that Lauren had brought to make arts and crafts with him. I found some glue, too. I returned to the living room and grabbed one of the ornaments from Walmart, carefully using the glue to write out CARLY before sprinkling sparkles over it. The glitter ended up all over the floor, but no one seemed to care.

“You’re part of this extended family now. You deserve a spot on the tree,” I told her. “We just need to let it dry.”

Carly smiled down at my messy creation. “Thank you, Mathers.”

“I think after Christmas, I’ll take all these decorations and keep them at Dad’s so they don’t get lost. Lorraine will probably just throw everything out if we don’t take what we want before she sells this place.”



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