Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86841 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86841 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
“You done checking me out?” he asked.
I smiled. The sound of his voice and being able to see the glint in his eyes as he teased me was a balm over my soul.
“I think so.”
“My head is fine. Nothing wrong with my brain.”
I nodded. I knew that. He’d told Linc to tell me.
“Which leads me back to what I said to you in the dungeon.”
This was why I hadn’t come. I was afraid of it. I didn’t need to hear that he’d not really chosen me or changed his mind. He always went back to the reasons he was a priest, and I was no match for Delana. I knew that all too painfully well.
“I came here, ready to hear you tell me what you wanted to. But can we not repeat the reasons why? Please. I know. You’ve told me. Crow, Delana’s brother,” I added for emphasis, “told me. I’ve been told the same thing so many times. I get it. You can walk out that door and go safely live your life. Be the priest Delana’s parents want you to be. I swear no one will touch you again.”
Jude narrowed his gaze. “I’m starting to think you are the one who got hit on the head, Dimples. I told you several times, albeit my voice wasn’t that clear or loud, but you heard me. I chose you. I love you.”
I snapped my eyes closed tightly. Those words were going to be the end of me. “I get it. But choosing me doesn’t mean that you tell me you love me.” I opened my eyes back up. “Choosing me means that you don’t have to hide me. Make me feel like a dirty little secret. Pretend I don’t exist when Delana’s parents come to town. OR whoever you don’t want to know about me. You’re a priest, and I do not believe you aren’t one anymore. I googled it. The process isn’t that fast. You’re a priest. If you did take the first step, you still have time to back out.”
His hands dropped to his sides, and he straightened.
“You googled it, did you?” He smirked. “Well, seeing as I admitted to my sexual affair once I was informed that I would need to stay at my position until the next step took place, I was removed. My things were taken from the rectory, and Linc went and picked them up for me,” he said, then took another step toward me.
“I loved Delana as a boy. She was my first love and all I knew. You were my only temptation in all these years. Because I fell in love with you. I felt guilt over it. Guilt I’d been taught to feel. But when I had to hurt you to save someone else’s feelings, I knew that was it. I wouldn’t be able to see you like that again.” He kept walking toward me until he was standing inches away.
“Every hit I took, I wanted. I deserved it. The physical pain was nothing compared to the look on your face when I had to act like you weren’t the most important person, thing, being in my life in front of the Berrys. I told them at lunch, unable to wait until I had word from the bishop that they’d received my letter. Were they hurt? Yes. Cried. Might never speak to me again. But when they walked off, all I felt was relief and the burning need to see you. Tell you. Talk to you.”
His palm covered my cheek. “But I couldn’t get you to answer the phone.”
“I’d blocked you,” I said as my heart raced, beating wildly.
He grinned. “Do you mind unblocking me?”
I laughed, part happiness, part disbelief. “You’re serious.”
“Yes, to unblocking me and to loving you.”
This was really happening. I wasn’t sleeping.
“I’m your Halo.” The words tumbled out.
He shook his head. “No. Fuck that. You’re my Saylor. And I will spend my entire life making sure that is the most loved, adored, elite level that anyone could dream of.”
He lowered his head, and his lips brushed against mine softly as his hand covered the pendant on my necklace. “That’s the last time you take my sunshine away—understand?”
“Yes,” I replied.
The warmth that burst through me eradicated every hurt, disappointment, and insecurity that had made a patch in my soul.