Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86841 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86841 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
I bet when she got mad, she didn’t lash out. That her eyes filled with tears, and the sight of her pretty face showing pain brought men to their knees. I could picture it, and I knew I’d never be able to do the same. Because I would be damned if Jude saw me cry. The last time I had fallen apart and cried, I had been accused of being selfish. My tears, showing my hurt, were making it all about me. Maybe in that moment, those weeks that followed, I had made it about me, but I had been betrayed by someone who was dead. There would be no way of asking him why.
“I am fine,” I heard Halo say to Bane, bringing me back to the present. “Hawkins is fast asleep with a very full tummy. At least until midnight.”
“So, this…you’re good in here?” he asked her. Translation: Do you need saving from this bitch?
“I’m enjoying myself. Saylor is way better company than y’all are when you’re watching a game. And y’all have some explaining to do. I think I’ve been lied to.”
Bane’s frown was back, and he immediately leveled me with it.
Cheers, motherfucker. Stop scowling at me.
“Stop it!” Halo grabbed his chin and jerked his attention back to her.
Well, I’ll be damned. The angel has some bite.
“I’m enjoying having another female around to talk to. I’m starting to think it’s your fault that I’ve been deprived of her company.”
I put my empty glass down and shook my head. “Oh, no,” I said before Bane could talk. “Trust me, you weren’t deprived. I needed time. You did not want to meet me before…before now. I had to…” I paused. How did I say this? Fall in love? No. I wasn’t in love. I just felt a lot. More than I had with Crosby. “I had to meet my own Halo. And realize what I hadn’t known Crosby and I lacked. What had been missing. Except, because I have the worst luck, that person had to be a priest.” All the word vomit. I needed to shut up. Maybe have another martini.
Both of their heads were turned toward me. I could see the compassion on Halo’s face and the…well, I didn’t know what was on Bane’s. I couldn’t read that man. He had little in the way of emotions. Unless he was looking at Halo, and then he was another being altogether.
“Leave us to girl talk, please,” Halo said to him.
He nodded, leaned down, and pressed his lips to hers. I stood up, taking my glass, not in the mood to watch them suck face. It just reminded me that I’d never been kissed by Jude. That he had never wanted me enough to grab my face and kiss me.
“I’m gonna go fix another drink while y’all do that,” I said, starting for the door.
But my glass was lifted from my hand before I took another step.
“What?!” I snapped my head around to see Bane walking away with my glass. “HEY, ASSHOLE! Give me that!”
“Sit down. I’ll get your drink,” he replied.
I blinked and stared at the doorway as he exited the kitchen. Bane Cash was getting my drink because his wife wanted to visit with me. What the hell kinda magic did that girl possess?
I turned around and looked at her. “Could you teach me how you do that?”
There she went with the nose-scrunch thing. “What?”
I pointed at the door. “Get a man so wrapped around your finger that he does whatever he must to give you what you want.”
She studied me then, as if trying to understand me. “You want to talk about it? The priest?”
I sighed and went to sit back on my stool. “Not much to talk about. It’s either me or God, and he chose God.”
She reached for a fry from the tray in front of her. “How did you meet him? I mean, since you have strong feelings for him, I assume you spent time with him.”
I needed more vodka for this. Or not. Maybe talking about it would help.
“I walked into the Catholic church as a last resort,” I told her. “It was your wedding day actually. And I had a lot of feelings about that. But not about you and Crosby. Not anymore. I was angry with myself because I was lost. Crosby had been my identity for as long as I could remember, and I hadn’t realized it. I couldn’t move on because I didn’t know myself. The girl I had been. Yet you were marrying Bane and had a baby. Moving on. Happy. I was jealous of that. The moving on and having a life. So, I went to a god I didn’t know to see if the answer was inside the church walls.” I laughed, although there was no trace of amusement in it. “I found something all right. But it wasn’t God.”