Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 122216 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 611(@200wpm)___ 489(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122216 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 611(@200wpm)___ 489(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
I plop down on my couch in the dark and dissect my last few days with Brendan. Okay, so what if Brendan is a bad guy? Do I care? I mean, aren't there levels of bad? Does he chop people’s heads off or does he launder money? Oddly, I find that there are some levels of bad that might not bother me. What does that say about me?
“That I’m halfway in love with him.” I close my eyes, my heart aching. I know this has to be about more than Christmas lights. Who dates someone to beat them at having better Christmas decorations? That’s ridiculous, even for me. I know I joked with Laura about dating him to see what he had planned for his decorations, but I wasn’t serious. I’d never do that, and I don’t think he would either.
I peek out my window and see that Brendan’s lights aren't on either. Did he stay at the parade and go have fun without me? I was nervous at first, then excited to go and have someone to share it with. It wasn't so much about going to the parade, but the fact that I was starting to feel comfortable about doing things. With Brendan by my side, I felt safe. Normal even. He always makes me feel that way no matter what Laura says.
A curious meow sounds.
I look over at Mrs. Claws who’s sitting on top of her red and green Christmas house.
“You’re supposed to be inside it, silly,” I tell her as I make my way over toward her, dropping my bag down. She looks at me, then out the window, and I wonder if she’s thinking about Charlie. She’s probably wondering what he’s up to, like I’m wondering what Brendan is doing.
“So what if he’s using me to distract me? I am rather enjoying the distraction,” I tell Mrs. Claws as I pet her head. After all, I got a lovely orgasm out of it. I’m guessing I won’t think it was so enjoyable when he breaks my heart. I’m already clingy as it is. If we had sex, I’d probably already be planning a wedding. Next, I’d begin trying my hand at knitting again, because obviously our baby would need a little hat. Then I’d wind up ordering it on Etsy after I got frustrated at my knitting failure. A tear slips from my eye as I think about all the things that we’ll never experience together. Laura has him pegged as off, but really, I’m the crazy one over here planning weddings and babies with a man I hated only a few short days ago.
I put Mrs. Claws down and walk toward the living room window to steal another peek out. His lights are still out. Where is he? I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit I was hoping he would chase me down. To tell me that Laura is wrong and that he doesn’t chop people's heads off for a living. I'm hoping the only crime he commits is jaywalking and sometimes forgetting to recycle. Maybe, when he was in a hurry, he parked in the handicapped spot or never put money in the parking meters. All of these things could be reasons why Laura thinks he’s bad for me, right?
I pull the blinds apart to sneak a look. Headlights blind me as a truck pulls into my driveway. I scream and jump back. I try and grab the blinds so I don’t fall. I could land on Mrs. Claus. Instead, the blinds come with me as I topple backwards and land on one of the new Christmas cat houses.
“Ouch,” I say, not moving. The blinds lie on top of me. The kitty Christmas house is broken. I don’t even have to turn to look at it to know. Mrs. Claws sits on top of the other one, staring at me in judgment.
“This one is Charlie’s?” I offer.
She only meows and seems unhappy about the mess I made. I start to get up, but my front door flies open. Brendan’s eyes go to me.
“The door isn't locked,” he half growls as he makes his way over to me. He drops to his knees and pulls the blinds off me. He then proceeds to pull me into his lap. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It didn't even hurt.” I’m more embarrassed that I ripped the blinds off my window and destroyed one of the new cat houses. Other parts of me still hurt, though. Mainly, my heart.
“Your Christmas lights aren't on. Did you forget to hit the switch when you forgot to lock your door?” He shifts me so I’m straddling him.
I should fight it. I should get up and push away from him. Instead, my fingers dig into his shirt. Does clinger have a stage 6? Because I’m there.