Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 93301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 373(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 373(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
I looked over at her. “Actually, he has talked a little about that with me.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “He has?”
“Yeah. He said how he’d sort of prided himself on never being afraid of anything before that happened, and then losing her made him afraid. He hated that feeling.”
“Wow. He really opened up to you. That’s . . . that’s kind of amazing. Xander doesn’t usually admit to weaknesses or fears.”
“No, he doesn’t,” I agreed. “But we’ve been pretty open with each other.” I laughed a little. “When you’re alone with someone twenty-four hours a day, you tell a lot of your stories.”
“So maybe it’s fear holding him back when it comes to falling in love in that lightning-bolt way. Maybe he’s afraid of it.”
I shook my head. “Xander has told me a million times, he’s not afraid of anything anymore.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I have no reason not to.”
Veronica nodded, then looked at the sunset again. “Sometimes lies protect us from feeling things we don’t want to feel. I lived a lie for a long time and almost married the wrong guy because of it. But in my experience, the universe tries very hard to show us we’ll be happier once we admit the truth.”
“What was the truth for you?” I asked curiously.
“That I deserved better,” she said with a smile. “And sure enough, I found it that very day.”
Half an hour later, I gave each twin a squeeze, told them to be good, and invited them to come see a concert sometime if they wanted—my treat.
“Can we?” Adelaide looked hopefully at her dad.
“Sure,” said Austin. “As soon as the tour schedule comes out, we’ll take a look.”
“I don’t get all the way up here, but I do come to Chicago,” I said. “Would that work?”
Austin nodded. “Definitely doable.”
“Great!” I gave Austin a quick hug, then rose up on tiptoe and threw my arms around Veronica—she was a lot taller than me. “Keep in touch, okay? You have my number. I want to hear all about the dance studio opening.”
“Okay.” She spoke softly in my ear so no one could hear. “And call me if you need to talk about Xander.”
I whispered back, “I don’t think there’s much to say.”
We released each other and she shrugged, a tiny smile on her lips. “Maybe not,” she said, “but I’ve got a feeling.”
On the ride home, Xander asked me what Veronica meant. “What does she have a feeling about?”
“She thinks my career is going to get even better,” I lied, too nervous to tell him what Veronica had actually meant. Xander and I had not discussed what would happen after he left Nashville, and I wasn’t ready to have that conversation tonight. “She’s really glad I’m going to start releasing music under my own name.”
“Oh.”
I wasn’t sure if he believed me or not, and I felt guilty—I wasn’t used to hiding the truth from him. But my feelings for him were growing deeper and more complicated, and I didn’t really want to wrestle with that out in the open. What if his weren’t deep or complicated at all? What if he wasn’t worried about missing me or saying goodbye? And even if he was willing to stay in touch, what would be the point? Would we have sex for a couple days and go our separate ways again? What would happen when he met that future wife, the mother of his three rowdy boys?
No. There were just too many obstacles in our way.
The timing. The geography. The views on love and relationships. Plenty of things were all wrong.
So I wouldn’t let myself think about everything that felt so incredibly right.
TWENTY-TWO
xander
We reached Nashville around seven o’clock the following evening. Crazy as it sounds, the twelve-hour drive seemed to fly by. I found myself easing off the gas just to prolong the time alone with her. Somehow, I felt like things wouldn’t be the same once she was back in her celebrity world. Maybe she wouldn’t want me the same way.
As we pulled up to the gate at the foot of Kelly’s driveway, I rolled down the minivan’s window. “What’s the code?”
“My birthday. Twelve, twenty.”
I took a second to glare at her. “That needs to be changed.”
“I wanted something easy to remember,” she said defensively. “But okay, we can change it.”
I punched the numbers on the keypad and pulled into the driveway, which curved around in front of a large, two-story home built with pale bricks. It had a three-car garage on one side, tall arched windows on the first floor, and beautiful landscaping. “Nice place you have here.”
“Thanks. I just bought it last spring. I’m not sure it feels like home yet.”
“Sometimes that takes a while. Where should I park?”
“You can pull up by the front door. Jess will return the van, and I have cars you can use while you’re here.” She unbuckled her seatbelt as I put the van in park. But even after I turned off the engine, she stayed in the passenger seat, making no move to get out. She just stared out the window at her big, beautiful house.