Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
At times, Nadia wanted to disown her friend, yet she was the one who picked up her phone whenever Nadia called and was always the first one to come over when things teetered on the edge of unbearable.
And then there was Kiran. He was there; even on the days when she didn’t want company, he was there, making his presence known. Kiran seemed to have a sixth sense, knowing when Nadia needed a break. He took the girls shopping so they could buy their mom presents, made sure the house had been winterized, swapped Nadia’s summer tires for snow tires, and came over to shovel the pathway when it snowed. He did everything Rafe would’ve done, and he did it without complaint or a phone call asking for help. When Saturday and Sunday rolled around, he was there, having dinner, just as he had in the previous months. Kiran wasn’t going anywhere.
The one aspect of life Nadia had trouble with was her in-laws. Otto was fabulous, coming around on the weekends to see if Kiran needed help. Cleo, on the other hand, was absent. She had every excuse in the book to avoid coming to the house. Nadia understood, to an extent; the house was Rafe. He’d left his mark everywhere, but the children missed their grandmother, and even though they went to their grandparents’ place, Nadia felt slighted by Cleo.
Nadia looked out the kitchen window, pausing while washing a pot left over from homemade mac ’n’ cheese. A cardinal sat on the tree, staring at her. At least that’s what it seemed like. If she tilted her head, the cardinal did as well. She’d heard (and seen on the numerous sympathy cards) about cardinals being messengers from passed-on loved ones. Prior to losing Rafe, she never would’ve bought into anything of the sort, but lately, she’d even contemplated visiting a medium. She’d watched enough shows and had seen the reaction of people who’d heard from someone they missed, and she desperately missed Rafe. With those thoughts, fear set in. What if he didn’t come through to her; then what would she do?
Hazel told her to stay far away from mediums, for the time being. Nadia needed to heal, to start her life anew, and to move on from Rafe. Those words stung Nadia deeply. At the end of October, she’d sort of thought she could begin to move on, but then Thanksgiving happened, and her brand-new dining room table Rafe had insisted on buying sat empty. Nadia and the girls had taken the train to see her parents in Maryland. Her depression returned with a crushing force.
She couldn’t imagine loving anyone other than Rafe for the rest of her life. Deep down, she wasn’t angry at Hazel for being honest, but at the situation. Healing would take time, according to the therapist. As would moving on. There wasn’t a set timeline of when a spouse had to accomplish anything, other than living. That’s what was important. Rafe would want Nadia to live, just as they had been.
She went back to washing the pot and tried to ignore the bird. When she looked up again, he was closer to the window. The branch he was perched on wasn’t strong enough to hold a bird, or so she thought. Nadia dried her hands, picked up her phone, researched what cardinals liked to eat, and then ordered everything—including the window bird feeder that would safely bring birds into her home. If the cardinal was Rafe, in some roundabout way, then she’d do whatever she could to take care of him.
When she looked out the window again, the bird was gone. Her heart missed a beat, and a wave of sadness washed over her. She’d bring this up at her next appointment; she’d ask her therapist if she was delusional or if messages from the beyond really did exist. She needed to believe they did. Tomorrow, she’d set up the bird feeder and hope for the best.
The girls came downstairs, dressed and ready to go to their grandparents’ house. Their normal Christmas Day visit had changed when Nadia had told Cleo and Otto they were heading to her parents’ house. She needed to surround herself with love and affection. She wanted to curl up next to her sister in the bed they’d shared, when they’d talked about boys, life, and heartache, like they used to when they were in high school and home from college. Reuben would be there, eager to spend time with his nieces.
Gemma twirled when she came into the kitchen. Both girls wore matching green velvet dresses that complemented their hair color: Gemma with her auburn hair like Nadia’s, and Lynnea’s blonde locks, reminiscent of Rafe’s.
“Wow,” Nadia said as she placed her hand over her heart. “How did I get so lucky with you two?”