Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
“Next year,” Nadia told her as she looked into her eyes. “Uncle Reuben or Uncle Lars, or one of your grandpas, can take you. You won’t miss it again.” She kissed the tip of her nose and turned her attention back to the frosting, setting out a bowl for each color with a heaping spoonful of frosting.
“Do you want to do the coloring?” she asked Gemma, who shook her head. “Okay, I’ll do it, and you mix so we get the right color.”
“Do you think Daddy will see his cake in heaven?”
“Yeah, baby girl, he will.”
Nadia dropped blue food coloring into one of the bowls and handed it to Gemma with a spoon. She held it while Gemma mixed the coloring into the white concoction.
“It’s not dark enough.”
“We can fix that.” With a few more drops of blue food coloring and some more stirring, the frosting was almost the right color. Nothing would ever be perfect in Nadia’s mind. After blue, they did red, green, and gold. All New England team colors. Lynnea sat in front of the oven, with the oven light on, and watched the batter rise to form a cake. If this made her happy and kept her thumb out of her mouth, then Nadia would leave her alone.
Gemma found the piping bags and brought them to the table. She and Nadia filled each one with frosting and then made another batch, “just in case,” according to Gemma, who promptly took a spoonful and stuck it in her mouth. She smiled up at her mom, a toothy grin that Nadia hadn’t seen in months. Nadia put a dollop of frosting on Gemma’s nose and delighted in her laughter. As sad as the day was, hearing her daughter giggle made her heart swell.
“Can I have some?” Lynnea left her perch in front of the oven and came over to her mom and sister. Nadia gave her a spoonful of frosting and put a dollop of it on her nose as well. Another laugh and another pang in Nadia’s heart. Happiness, sorrow, and regret. She longed for Rafe to be with them and hated that he and the girls were missing out on so much of each other.
After the cake had finished baking and cooled, the girls frosted it in the assorted colors while Nadia and Lorraine sat back. The girls were messy and having fun. Gemma bossed her little sister around, but that was to be expected.
“You used to do the same thing to Reuben, and Sienna would tell you both what to do.”
“She still does,” Nadia quipped. Her sister wasn’t there to defend herself. Not like there was much she could say. Sienna had always been the leader of the pack. The take-charge type of person. She was the reason Rafe’s funeral had gone off without any issues, and why Nadia had had a proper goodbye. Sienna had demanded it. Nadia had never been more appreciative of her sister than she had been during that time.
“We’re all done, Mommy,” Gemma said as she and Lynnea slid out of their chairs. Nadia approached the breakfast table with an open mind. As soon as she saw Rafe’s birthday cake, a cake she’d had zero intention of making, her heart filled with pride, joy, and an insurmountable love for her daughters. Before her, the small sheet cake had been decorated in squares, each one a distinct color representing Rafe. The girls had done an impeccable job, for their age, at creating the perfect cake.
“Wow, this is beautiful.”
“Now you just have to add the words, Mommy,” Lynnea said. She pointed to each square. “This one is for baseball.” She went on to each one, showing Nadia which team went where, along with basketball, football, and hockey.
“Girls, this cake is perfect,” Lorraine said when Nadia couldn’t find her voice. “Your dad is going to love it. Let’s clear the space so your mom can add the words.”
The girls moved quickly. Gemma cleaned her chair off, and then held it for Nadia to sit.
“Here you go, Mommy,” Gemma said as she handed Nadia the first piping bag. Nadia cleared her throat and pushed the thoughts of Rafe to the back of her mind. She needed to do this for her children, to make them happy, despite the pain it caused her. If she had her way, she’d still be in bed.
Nadia decorated the edges of the cake and then wrote “Happy Birthday” in the middle. She sat back and studied her work. Years ago, on a whim, she and her friend Hazel had taken a cake-decorating class because they were tired of paying bakery prices. It had panned out for any home project and caused anxiety anytime the school needed something. Everyone always assumed Nadia and Hazel would do it for free. Of course, it didn’t help that they never spoke up about wanting to be compensated for their talents.