Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I had Doug growing up, and my grandma. Fuck, she was great. She would have loved you. And I have you guys now.” Guilt tied my insides into knots, cluttered my brain and my thoughts, because everything I’d said was true, but I was still lying to Griff. I’d never outright said Doug had died, but I let Griff believe he had. Somehow, it was easier that way.
Griff looked over at me and gave me a soft smile. My heart stumbled, fucking felt like it swooped or some shit as the hairs on the back of my neck stood. Christ, I was falling for him, really fucking falling for him, and I didn’t want to stop but didn’t know how to move forward either.
“Why do you suddenly look like you sucked on a lemon?” he teased, then leaned over and kissed me. It struck me that kissing was something we just did now. Griff wanted me and felt comfortable with me. He had chosen me and trusted me, and I was lying to him. Without waiting for me to reply, Griff continued, “You have us. We’re not going anywhere.”
“I know.”
“My dad…he was great. The best man I’ve ever known. He took care of everyone and loved everyone. People always say I’m just like him. Act like him, look like him—”
“Damn, your dad was hot, then,” I teased, and we both chuckled.
“I always wanted to be like him, ya know? Wanted to make him proud. He would have given someone the shirt off his back if they needed it.”
“Well, if that’s what you want, you already got it. There’s no better man than you.”
He looked bashful, confusion wrinkling his brow. “Yeah?”
Did he not know? How could he not know? “Yes.”
“I want him to be proud—of me, of Kellan.”
“There’s not a doubt in my mind that he is.”
“He did a lot of things. Went away to college, volunteered, experienced life in this way I never have, before he and my mom married and started their family. He used to…fuck, he used to tell me he wanted that for me. It was important to him that I left for college. I never told Kell this, Chase neither, but he sat me down once. It was the beginning of my senior year in high school, and he told me he was proud of me, that I was a good man and took good care of Kellan and Chase, but not to forget about myself. He said the strongest people take care of others, but to be able to do that, they have to take care of themselves. That’s what made me apply and go—that conversation. Then…I left, and they died.”
“And you stopped taking care of yourself. Jesus, Griff.”
“No, that’s not true. I have my bar.”
“Which you love, but that’s not taking care of yourself.”
He shrugged, looking away. “This is. What we’re doing. Don’t know why exactly, but it’s taking care of me.”
My heart punched against my chest in sharp, rapid beats. I wanted to be that for him. I wanted to take care of Griffin in ways no one else did. I wanted to be that escape for him.
“Too much?” he asked.
“No,” I answered honestly. “It should be, but it’s not.” I wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulled him closer, and he came easily. Our lips met, then our tongues. He tasted like coffee and felt like home.
When he pulled back, we both sucked in deep breaths, like we were trying to savor each other’s air.
“Jesus, I am so fucked,” I said lightly. Like I knew he would, Griffin didn’t take offense.
He pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I think I want to rent out my house.”
“What?” That came out of nowhere.
“I feel like I’ve spent my whole life standing still. I don’t want to sell the place. I don’t think I would, and I don’t think Kellan would want me to either, but…I don’t want to stand still anymore. It might sound like a small change, but—”
“It doesn’t,” I cut him off. “And if that’s what you want, you should do it. I think that’ll be a good change for you.”
“Yeah, I think I will. I need to talk to Kellan first, of course.”
I suddenly wanted to do everything I could with Griffin. Wanted to keep making sure he wasn’t standing still, that he was moving forward. It didn’t matter if it was big things or small things. I just wanted Griffin to have fun and be happy. “Let’s go to Richmond.”
“Huh? That’s random.”
“So? That’s what makes it fun. It’s Sunday. We’re both off until Tuesday. Let’s pack a bag and go to Richmond. I’ll take you to a drag show and out dancing. But you gotta promise, if someone else asks me to dance this time, you’ll tell them I’m with you.” I waited, but when he didn’t answer right away, I added, “Come have fun with me. I told you when we went away that I was going to make you start living a little. No more standing still, right?”