Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“You’re not alone, Griff. Never. I would never allow that. Kellan wouldn’t either, but I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend to you. I’m sorry I didn’t see you were hurting.”
“I know.” I looked over and nodded. “Even after Kell and I talked, I couldn’t work out if any of those terms described me. I still can’t say for sure, but I’m thinking the closest is demisexual, and—”
“Holy fuck. You and Josh.”
My gaze snapped to him, my pulse kicking up a notch or twelve. Not sure why. It was obvious what I’d come over to tell him. “How did you know?”
“Well…there’s been some kinda something with you guys for a while now. You’re always nitpicking at each other.”
“Nitpicking is a sign?” I teased. This stuff was so confusing. In some ways, I didn’t get relationships at all.
Chase chuckled. “Damn. I never thought I’d see the day when Josh would get serious about someone.”
“We’re not. It’s not like that. We’re just having some fun together.” The words sounded odd, almost wrong, hearing them in my own voice.
“Oh…and you want that? That doesn’t…that doesn’t sound like you.”
“It was my idea.”
Chase leaned forward. He sat with his elbows resting on his knees and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m struggling with this because part of me feels like a hypocrite. Kell and I started out the same way. I was determined it wouldn’t be serious. We were ‘just having fun,’ even though I think I always knew it was more for him. So I don’t think I have room to talk. On the other hand, I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit it worries me some, and I’m sure it does Kellan too. I might not have known you had complicated feelings when it came to sex or relationships, but I know you’re not really the type to do casual, especially with someone like Josh, who… I’m trying to put this in a way that I don’t come off as an ass or like I’m shaming Josh. He likes sex, a lot, with a lot of people. And he has that right, but…”
“I can take care of myself.”
“Would you have said the same thing to Kell if he’d come to you about us from the beginning? If he’d said we were just fucking around and it wasn’t serious?”
I didn’t bother to deny it because we both knew I wouldn’t have. “This isn’t the same.”
“How so?”
I didn’t have an answer for that, so I didn’t even try to give one. It was Chase who began talking again first.
“Josh and I are good now. He’s one of my closest friends, and I know he was only protecting Kell because he cares about him, but you don’t know how much shit Josh gave me in the beginning. He hated me. He thought I was going to hurt Kellan. I’m caught between making fun of his ass because now he sees how hard it is to resist a Caine brother, while another part of me wants to make sure he knows you’re the best man I’ve ever known, and if he hurts you, we’re gonna have words.”
“He’s not going to hurt me,” I replied, hoping like hell it would prove true. I was the one who wanted this, who asked for this, but just thinking about the last few days with him had my feelings already entangled. “I want this, Chase. I need it. I want to have fun. To just…I don’t know, feel like everyone else. To put what feels good to me before everyone else. I’ve never done that.”
“Josh feels good to you?”
Flashes of our time together played like a slide show in my head. “I didn’t know it could feel like that. It’s… Let’s just say I get now what all the fuss is about—at least with him.”
“Then you fight for it. No one deserves it more than you, Griff, and if this is what you want, I’ll back you up. You deserve to be happy, to be selfish, if that’s what you want. Don’t worry about anyone else other than you and Josh.”
I glanced his way and cocked a brow. “Not even Kell?”
“If I were talking to you as the man in love with Kellan, that would be harder to say. You asked for Best Friend Chase, and that’s who I’m giving you. Kell will understand. He knows I’m right. But also, don’t let this shit get between you guys.” He thumped the side of my head.
“Ouch, damn it.” I rubbed the spot. It hadn’t really hurt, just surprised me.
“I’m getting married next year. We’re having a baby after that. I’m gonna need my best friend, and so will Kell. Our little baby is going to need Uncle Griff and Uncle Josh.”
I nodded. I got what he was saying. Our lives were all so entwined. Our group was close, but some of us were family. “It’ll be fine. I’m not looking for anything more than Josh can give.” I hoped I wasn’t lying to myself.