Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 294(@200wpm)___ 235(@250wpm)___ 196(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 294(@200wpm)___ 235(@250wpm)___ 196(@300wpm)
“Did we push her too hard?” I wonder aloud. “She acts like we backed her into a corner.”
“She initiated the physical stuff,” Jordan says. “Don’t forget that. And I’m glad she did, and deep down, I know she’s glad she did, too.”
Zane’s been quiet, but his voice cuts through our discussion. “Cut her some slack. You all heard her talk about the men from her past. Can you blame her for running?”
“Why should we suffer for what those assholes did?” Jordan asks.
Zane shrugs. “That’s a lot of assholes. If you’ve been stung by a dozen bees, are you going to trust that the thirteenth one isn’t going to hurt you?”
Colin lets out a long sigh as he runs his hands through his hair. “We have a show to do,” he reminds us.
“Fucking great,” Jordan mutters.
33
BRITTANY
With all the rule breaking I’ve done over the past few days, I haven’t been all that impressed with my performance as tour manager, but I should win an Oscar for the way I pull myself together and act like everything’s okay.
The manager at this club is more involved than the others have been, asking me all sorts of questions, going over extra details, sharing information about ticket purchases and club capacity, and talking to me about all sorts of shit I couldn’t care less about. But I smile and nod, and put on my best face to represent Club Red on Tour.
It’s not until the show starts that he finally shuts up for a few minutes, and the timing is good, because I’d have a hard time sounding positive and upbeat once I see the men come out on stage.
They’re gorgeous. Their bodies are dramatically lit in a way that accentuates every muscle, and I’m instantly flooded with all of the memories of my up-close experiences with those muscles, and how those bodies made me feel.
I try to avoid looking at their faces, but I can’t, because these men are so much more than their magnificent bodies. So much more.
I have to look away, but my eyes keep getting drawn back to the stage.
I’m filled with doubt. Is there a chance I’m passing up the only good men I’ve ever found?
The second number starts, and Colin’s timing is off for joining the others. I glance over at the club manager and am relieved that he doesn’t seem to have noticed. The crowd doesn’t notice either. The large room is filled with screams and whistles and yells. Most of these women probably wish they could hook up with any one of the men on stage. I’ve been hooking up with all four, but I’m putting a stop to it.
Second thoughts creep in, but then I see Zane get out of sync. Then Owen.
I’ve rattled them.
The manager gets called away by a server, and I’m glad he won’t be watching, because the guys are clearly off their game. And it’s my fault.
I feel especially bad for hurting Zane after all he’s been through. I should have known better and left things as they were after our first night together.
I hate that I hurt Owen, too. He’s a very caring person, and maybe he gets attached quickly, but I hope that’s not the case.
And as for Jordan and Colin, I’m sure I’ve bruised their egos. They’re probably not used to women turning them down. None of the men probably are, actually, and I feel bad, but this is how it needs to be. It’s better for all of us this way.
If we try to give things a go and it doesn’t work, the men will be even more upset.
I keep watching, even though every minute of it hurts. I can’t go on another tour with them. I don’t know what to do, but I can’t.
In the beginning of the tour, just one short week ago, they tormented me every time I was around them. Now, I’m tormented by the thought of not being around them. Life isn’t fucking fair.
The club manager returns, saving me from being alone with my thoughts. When there are only a couple of numbers left, he leans in, talking right next to my ear to be heard over the wild cheering. “Good show,” he says, and I’m glad he seems impressed, because this was the worst performance of the tour. In addition to the small screw-ups, the men’s energy is nowhere near its usual levels. They’re just going through the motions.
Thank goodness this is the last show. No matter what happens, we’ll at least have time away from each other. Maybe we’re all just caught up in the whirlwind of the tour. Time apart will give us all a better perspective on things.
“Where are you staying?” the club manager asks.
“What?” I’d almost forgotten he was here, even though he’s standing really close.
“What hotel are you staying at?”