Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
All four of them decline food, so I follow them to the door, which they hold open for me. At the table, they wait for me to sit before they choose spots, and I could almost cry when they leave a big distance on either side of me. It didn’t hurt nearly this much when I broke up with my ex, and I expected to marry him someday.
I don’t bother opening my lunch because I haven’t been hungry all day. Not even for sweets. Instead, I take a small sip from my water bottle, if only to give myself something to do.
“We’d like you to reconsider your decision,” Chase says.
I blink and straighten in my seat, surprised by his directness.
“What he means to say,” Dodge says, “is that we’ve been talking about it, and we don’t think the obstacles you listed are insurmountable.”
“In a perfect world, would you want to be with us?” Diesel asks.
It crosses my mind to try to lie about my feelings, but the truth would probably show on my face. “Yes, I would. In a perfect world.”
“Then we can find a way.” Maddox makes it sound like it’s a done deal, victory has been won, everything is settled.
“As you know, we can be extremely charming,” Chase says, making me smile despite myself. “I’m sure if we talked with your parents we could work things out.”
“You don’t know how stubborn they are,” I say. “Last spring, when storm damage caused my apartment to be condemned, I moved in with my boyfriend because I thought he was about to propose. Before I moved in, my parents loved him. He was the ideal man on paper — good job, good family, all of that — but after I moved in with him, they didn’t speak to me for weeks. Even after I broke up with him and moved back in with Becca and Rachel, they continued to hold a grudge. They have their ideas about what’s right and what’s wrong, and they are essentially immovable when their mind is made up about something.”
Recalling this period in my life, I can’t help but remember what an idiot I was about Justin. I should have seen all the warning signs with him, because there were so many. There have been warning signs with these men, too, but even though the signs in this situation are not their fault, I still can’t ignore all of the reasons we shouldn’t be together.
“Your parents shouldn’t dictate how you live your life,” Chase says, making Dodge wince at his blunt statement.
“I know that, and even though becoming disowned by my family is definitely part of my decision, you know there are other reasons too.”
“We could stop dancing—“ Diesel says, but I cut him off.
“No. Don’t even say it, because I won’t let you consider it. We’ve only known each other for a month. I’m not going to let you give up your career and your business because I’m uncomfortable with it. Besides,” I say, lightening my tone, “all of the women on Four Points would form a mob and chase me out of town if you quit dancing.”
Chase reaches for my arm. “Jade—”
I pull back even though it practically kills me to do so. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is. You are all amazing men, and I’ve loved spending time with you, but there’s no point in trying to make something work that isn’t meant to be.”
“If that’s how you feel,” Dodge says.
Chase doesn’t get up abruptly this time, but instead gives me a long look that nearly makes me crumble. Am I making a mistake? I’m trying so hard to do the right thing, so why does it feel all wrong?
When I don’t say anything else, he eventually stands, and his brothers follow his lead.
“We’ll see you around,” Chase says. His tone isn’t mean, but each word hits like a punch in the gut.
“Bye, Jade,” Diesel says, closely echoed by Dodge. Maddox doesn’t say anything at all, and that hurts the most.
I can’t even bear to look at them as they go. I keep my focus on my lunch bag, open the zipper and slowly remove the items inside, even though I know I won’t be able to eat a bite. I still don’t look when I hear their truck pull out of the lot, and it’s only when the sound of their engine fades away that I let the tears fall.
34
Hurting
After a few indulgent minutes of sorrow, I pull myself together, and somehow I make it through the rest of my work day, but as soon as I get home, I completely fall apart. Rachel calls Becca, who comes over and eventually coaxes me out of my bedroom and onto the couch, where the two of them surround me with a box of tissues and a cup of tea.