Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
“We’re really sorry to hear this,” Dodge says quietly.
Maddox clears his throat. “Is there anything we can say to change your mind?”
I shake my head, still unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve thought about this a lot. I’ve agonized over it, actually, but it’s the right thing to do. Better we break things off now than later when we’re all in much too deep. You deserve to find someone who fits into your life better.”
Diesel had his arm around me, and I’d been trying to ignore it, since his physical contact made it harder to say what I had to say. Now he rubs my back for a few seconds and then withdraws his arm, and I miss it immediately.
Chase stands, dusts invisible crumbs from his pants, and wipes his hands against each other, the way you do when you’re finished with something.
We are finished. I’ve put an end to us.
I hadn’t thought about what might happen after I said my piece. Maybe I’d have thought we might still finish having lunch together, but I can see that’s not going to work. “I really have enjoyed getting to know you,” I say as I start tidying up my area, gathering my plastic utensils, napkin, and plate, and putting it all in the trash. I’ve never said anything more lame or inadequate before in my life, and then for some ridiculous reason, I cap it off with, “I wish you well.”
“You too, Jade,” Dodge says.
“Can we walk you to your car?” Diesel asks.
Again, I shake my head. I don’t think I could bear an extended goodbye. “No, that’s okay. I’d better just go. Take care.” I look at each of them, but I can’t let myself register what I see in their eyes. Whatever is there — pain, anger, regret, hurt, confusion — I’ll probably spend all night thinking about it.
I grab my bag and the little cooler and set off down the hill, my heart growing heavier with each step.
33
In a perfect world
My cheeks are starting to get sore from forcing smiles for customers. And I must not be doing a good job at pretending to be happy, because Maddy takes me aside during a slow moment.
“What’s wrong today, Jade?”
What could I even begin to tell her? That I’m heartbroken for breaking up with four men who I wasn’t even officially dating, and that my misery is all my own fault, so what right do I have to even be sad? “Everything’s fine,” I say, forcing a bigger smile. “I’m just tired.”
And that part is true, because I tossed and turned all night, haunted by the awareness that I’ll never spend another night in the arms of the Stanton brothers. I knew I’d miss them, but I didn’t expect the pain to come on so hard and so fast.
When it’s around the time I take my lunch break, the bell chimes on the entrance, and I look up to find the four brothers coming in. At first, my heart soars at the sight of them, but the heavy feeling that’s been residing in my chest comes back in an instant when I realize nothing good can come from their visit.
Chase and Maddox are in the lead, looking determined, while the twins look tentative.
“Jade, can we join you on your lunch break?” Chase asks, not bothering with a greeting.
“Umm … I guess so. Let me check with Maddy.”
I try to lighten my tone when I step into the kitchen, where my boss is wiping down the counter. “Maddy, is it okay if I take my lunch now?”
“Sure. Perfect timing. I just put cakes in the oven, so I can cover the front when people come in.”
“Okay, thanks. I’ll just be outside at a table if you need me.”
She gives me a bright smile after glancing behind me and spotting the brothers. “Don’t be silly. Take your time.”
My mood used to instantly lighten whenever the men came into the shop to see me, but my movements are sluggish as I reach for my lunch bag.
“It’s cool out,” Dodge says. “Do you have a jacket?”
The wind that started blowing while we were at the park yesterday brought in colder temperatures. Customers have been commenting on it all morning, but I didn’t really notice when I came in because everything feels numb.
I pull my sweater from where I stashed it under the counter. “I do.”
“We have one in the truck if you need something heavier,” Diesel says.
I’m not sure I could handle having an article of their clothing wrapped around me. It would trigger too many memories of evening walks on the beach, and of having their arms around me, our bodies entwined …
“Would you like something from the case?” I ask, snapping myself back to the present and nodding toward the bakery display.