Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 129084 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129084 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 645(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
When I stand back up, Noah embraces me. Not entirely since he keeps one hand on the stroller. And that’s how he’s already a better father than I had. I hug him fully, wanting him to know how much I appreciate him stepping in without hesitation to be there for his son.
That matters.
More than he’ll ever understand.
But Maxwell will, so that’s all I can wish for.
20
Noah
I can’t stop staring.
Liv even reached over and whacked my arm, telling me to stop on the way to the hospital. All in good fun, of course, but she hates attention. That much I’ve learned. I always wondered how she was so oblivious to the attention she receives.
She’s not. She’s ignoring it.
She drops breadcrumbs of information for me to gather as insight into her life. I devour each tidbit, craving everything she gives me and hoping she shares the full loaf one day.
When we arrive at the hospital, I can’t help but notice we look every bit the little family. I grin at our reflection in the windows while approaching the doors. My brothers and I joked around about me not having kids anytime soon. I stood firm that I had no interest in kids at this juncture. Starting my own family seemed like a foreign concept. Why wouldn’t it be?
I’m barely out of grad school and haven’t dated anyone seriously in years. The woman at the counter might be to blame for that. Things changed fast. Now look at me, bouncing my own kid on my knee in a hospital waiting room.
I’ve been successful at keeping the future at bay, but thinking about how I just saw my brothers the other night is a swift kick of reality.
I’m a dad. A parent.
I scrub a hand over my face. What am I going to tell them and the rest of my family? How? When?
I haven’t even processed this fact yet, much less how we move forward from here. When I go home tomorrow, do I go home alone? I don’t have a nursery or anyone to take care of him while I’m at work. If I leave him at her apartment, how do I move on with life like this didn’t happen? Or do we work to find a middle ground?
I didn’t picture having a family dropped onto my lap. Literally. But now I can’t imagine what it would be like without them there, without me being a part of their daily lives. How do I live life without seeing my son every day?
Fuck. I scrub a hand over my face. We have so little time to figure things out, and I don’t know where to start.
Drool coats my hand, bringing my gaze back to my little guy. Doesn’t matter what the adult world demands of me, I smile because Max has done a one-eighty to my perspective. “It will work out, right, Max?”
“Dada.”
“Yeah, I’m your dada.” I grab a wipe from the bag while Liv gets an update on Cassandra. She returns with a smile I read as good news, squats next to the stroller, and pulls out a rubber ring. After clipping it to his sleeve, she hands it to him. “He’s teething.”
“He’s a happy chap for teething.”
“He’s happy with you.”
I kiss his head. His hair is soft, and his smell wakes parts of myself I didn’t know existed. I see the world differently. It happened in the blink of an eye. The dangers lurk from a plug to a creeper standing at the corner eyeing Max when we’re out of the apartment. I see everything in a new way, and it revolves around this kid and the need to protect him at all costs. I wrap both my arms around him. “I’ll always be here for you, buddy.”
So many thoughts crowd my mind that I can’t think straight. My heart thumps in my chest just staring at her because she’s done the same to me but has awoken different emotions. Again.
I thought I was over her, but I was hiding from the truth. She couldn’t push me away this week because I didn’t want her to. I’ve been holding on to hope since I laid eyes on her in that conference room.
Fate brought us together again, but a second chance is up to us.
God, I sound like Marina. She’s going to have a fucking field day with this situation.
Liv picks Max up and cuddles him to her side. Their bond means she gets to take these things, like holding him, for granted. “They’re going to let Max and me visit Cassandra. I hate to have you just sitting here.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” Standing, I tuck my hands in my pockets. “I can do some work.” It’s been less than twenty-four hours, but work seems like a million years ago.
“There’s a coffee shop around the corner. Would you rather meet there instead of hanging around a hospital?”