Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 100301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Ian gasped, and I felt him begin to tremble again. I wrapped my arms around him tighter and buried my face in his neck, letting him take his comfort from me. “What would we do?” he asked.
“More of what we did tonight. There are so many options, little pup. If you don’t want to give up control to me, you won’t. I’ll instruct Jordan, and you’ll do what you want. If you decide you need me to carry some of the weight you’re always lugging around, I will. There’s something so liberating about handing over control.”
“How would you know?” Ian asked.
“Because I do it sometimes.”
Ian froze beneath me.
“It’s not often. I have to need it or feel comfortable with the Dom, but yes, I’m a switch. I’ve played with Aidan many times over the years, and when we do, I’m the submissive.”
“If it gives you something you need, why don’t you do it all the time?”
“Because I don’t need it all the time or want it all the time. We’re all nuanced. No one is one thing. For me, I get the utmost pleasure and satisfaction from being in control. From learning who Jordan is and what he needs and giving it to him. From doing the same with you, even if those will likely be two different things. It’s not the act as much as the feeling I get from controlling Jordan and being his Daddy. Or working through what you need and being that for you too.”
Ian turned his head away, and I leaned back to look at him as he asked, “What if I do it wrong? What if it’s not for me? What if I’m shit at it?”
“What if it helps soothe those painful wounds inside you?”
“So, it’s for broken people?” Ian asked.
“No. Hell no. It’s something unique for everyone. I knew when I was a teenager this was what I needed, though I didn’t know how to put it into words. People from every walk of life live this lifestyle. It’s not about fixing people—and you certainly aren’t broken—but it can help give people something. I tried walking away from this once, and it ate me up inside, not because I’m broken, but because it’s who I am. Who are you, Ian?”
“I don’t…know now.”
“Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see a loyal friend. A hard worker. Someone who takes care of those they love, and who deserves someone to take care of them. Jordan and I can try and do that for you.”
Ian tightened his hold on me, rubbed his cheek against my shoulder, as if taking something from me he desperately needed, and I wanted to give him that.
Ian said, “It felt good tonight. Like it settled something inside me. That’s fucking with my head.”
“That’s why you’re such a stubborn little pup,” David told him, and Ian actually laughed.
“So, we have a stubborn puppy, a naughty kitten, and David, who gets to manage us both,” I said playfully.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Ian asked me, and I felt my body relax. I didn’t realize how tense I’d been, how much I wanted this but was afraid Ian wouldn’t.
“I’m sure. Do you want this?”
Ian hesitated, then said, “I want to try.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
David
I’d struggled to sleep most of the night. I had Jordan curled up beside me, warm and cuddly. I was the kind of Dom who loved that shit—holding their sub. Jordan being in bed with me did what I’d told Ian we could all do for each other—it soothed something inside me. Not something broken or something I only wanted because I had a troubled childhood or anything like that. It soothed something I’d always needed, would always need, something that would have been a part of who I was even if I’d grown up in a perfect world.
Tony had never understood that, could never wrap his brain around it, and it became a constant fight between us, and then the reason we hadn’t stayed together.
I feared I was making the same mistake again, because no matter how good it felt to hold Jordan in my arms, I wanted Ian too. But Ian could turn out to be like Tony and decide this was something he could never understand. The difference was, I’d never seen the spark in Tony. I’d never seen the pull. Tony had tried because dominance and sometimes submission was what I needed, but when I looked at Ian, I saw someone who tried not to want it.
Jordan rolled away from me, mumbling softly in his sleep. I turned toward him, danced my fingers along his temple and through his hair, knowing it wouldn’t wake him. The boy could sleep through anything.
Small noises pulled from the back of his throat, making me smile. Jordan truly was stunning—his brown mass of hair, his happy spirit, and how beautifully he came apart for me, how eager he was to please. I hadn’t realized the joy I would feel at him calling me Daddy, knowing who I was to him and the trust he gave so completely.