Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
“What if I make the wrong decision?”
“Then you’re human too. Listen to me for a moment—everything we’ve been doing, all the lessons I’ve tried to teach you, all the time I tried to show you that you could be on your own, that you can do anything, it’s all been leading up to this moment. When I said I wanted you to be the best you could be, I meant that. When I said I wanted you to be able to stand on your own, I meant that too. Yes, I want you to submit to me, but also to be able to be strong on your own, to feel confident in yourself, and to be able to make important decisions when you need to. Like I’ve said before, I can’t always be there. This choice has to be yours.”
Logically, Aidan being my Dom didn’t mean he knew everything, that he was perfect, but he knew me, knew me like no one else ever could or would. But in the back of my mind, I also knew he was right. He’d been giving me these tools all along. He’d been telling me that I needed to be able to stand on my own, that I could choose to be on my knees for him, to serve him, but I also needed to be able to be my own man.
“I don’t want to lose them,” I said, because it was easier than thinking about the rest of it.
“They’re your family. You won’t lose them for this, and if you do, they weren’t very good family to begin with.”
“I love you.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I need you. I can’t serve you from another state.”
“You don’t need me, Fin. You never did, precious boy. Want me, yes, but you don’t need me. And if you stayed, we could figure it out, but you’re looking at this the wrong way. You’re afraid of losing me and afraid of losing them, but again, the important question is, what do you want?”
“I don’t know!” I shouted, tugging at my hair. But really, I did know, didn’t I? I was just scared.
“Finley,” Aidan said softly. When I didn’t answer, he said it again, with a little more meat to it. “Finley.”
“Yes, Sir.” And oh, did that feel good to say. How could I not spend my days respecting my Sir?
“I love you, but I’ve told you from the beginning that I would only do what’s best for you. This is something I truly can’t answer for you. Only you know what’s best for you. Trust yourself.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know, but I believe in you. You’re my good boy. You’ll make the right decision.”
“I…I think I have to go.”
He nodded. “Fifteen minutes, and then I want you to go to sleep. Stay in bed at least eight hours. Tomorrow morning eat a healthy breakfast and find somewhere to work out, even if you have to get a temporary pass somewhere. I know you think you hate it, but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit it clears your head.”
A small smile tugged at my lips. He was right. Aidan was always right. “Yes, Sir.”
“I’ll speak to you soon, little warrior.” Then, before I could reply, Aidan ended the call.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Aidan
I was losing my damn mind.
Finley was in my thoughts all day. I struggled between feeling that I should have ordered him home and knowing I’d done the right thing. I knew what I wanted him to do, but this truly wasn’t a decision I could make for him, no matter how much I wanted to.
The hospital was crazy. We had a five-car pileup with multiple trauma victims. I spent four hours in surgery. It was the only time I was able to push thoughts of Finley to the back burner. My patient had come through his operation well and was currently in the ICU.
The house felt empty when I went home, the way it had since he left. I’d spent my life living alone, taking care of myself, but now living without him felt…off. Like my world wasn’t on its axis any longer.
He didn’t call me that night, and I didn’t call him.
I was off the next day. It was a grocery-shopping day, so I went to the store, marking things off the list the way Finley did, comparing prices with amounts. Not that I needed to, but I liked that he did, and it made me feel closer to him.
I made dinner, got in an extra workout, and then…fuck, I watched television. I hated TV, but then, I guess I really didn’t. It wasn’t something I’d shared with him, but I enjoyed our evenings together, watching whatever silly show he was into.
It was about ten when I went upstairs and showered. I washed my body, my hair, then turned off the faucet. As I stepped out, I grabbed a towel from the rack and began drying myself off. Then, with the towel wrapped around my waist, I went back into the bedroom and—