Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 73828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Fuck. What am I thinking?
I try to chase those thoughts away.
Mark rounds the corner and starts down the stairs.
Shit.
He stops and looks at me.
A tear runs down his cheek. He quickly wipes it away with his arm before saying, “Hey.”
“I was just coming up to check on you.”
“Sorry.” He takes a breath. “It’s been a rough night.”
This would be the perfect opportunity to say something like, “It could be an even rougher night.” Something sexual. Something that could give me a chance to take him off somewhere and fuck his brains out right now. But I don’t want that. He clearly needs to talk to someone, and I wish I could be that person. But I figure he needs to get back to his friends to get the sort of consoling I’m sure he needs right now.
“I know,” he says quickly. “Rules and all.”
He starts past me. I snatch his arm, and he looks at me with surprise.
“Fuck the rules.”
“He’s gonna be coming down in a minute. Can we get out of here so I don’t have to see him again tonight? I’ll go ahead. Just meet me out front.”
He continues down the stairs.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Been better.”
We walk through the woods behind campus. It’s a reclusive spot. I come here sometimes to think. We’re not supposed to be here this late, but I’m never supposed to be here. It’s a secluded park behind campus reserved for students and teachers, not leeching drug dealers.
Shining our way with my iPhone flashlight app, I duck under a branch, and he follows until we step out beside a creek.
“You come here often?” he asks.
“It’s where I bring all my little glory holes.”
He chuckles, and I’m pleased. He hasn’t been very talkative, let alone relaxed since his chat with Greg. I don’t press. Let him come around in his own time. If he has something he wants to share with me, he will.
I lead him to a log beside the creek and sit on it.
“Sorry, it’s not the grandest of places, but it’s a nice hideout when you’re trying to get away from the city. Not many quiet places like this.”
He sits down beside me.
“It’s cool. Greg took me on a walk around here when we first started seeing each other.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine.”
He’s quiet. We sit in silence until he says, “I think I kinda deserved it. The cheating.”
“No one deserves to be cheated on,” I say.
“I was so fucking naïve when we started going out. After like a week of seeing each other, he gave me his class ring. So cute, right? He’s always very romantic with his gestures. I never liked stuff like that, but he did, and silly me, I thought that meant something. Turns out it was all just a production that he puts on. I guess by working so hard to impress me he blinded me to everything else. I thought he was so in love with me. I wasn’t in love with him, though. I thought I was, but I think I just loved how much he loved me. How much I thought he loved me. And when I found out the truth, I felt duped.”
“That makes sense.”
“Why are people so terrible?”
“Look who you’re asking.”
“You ever cheated on someone?” he asks.
“I’m pretty honest about what I’m looking for, so no.”
“Maybe that’s the best way to be.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’m surprised to hear that coming from you.”
“It’s lonely like this. Never really getting close to anyone. Never opening up. Never trusting.”
“You trust, you get hurt,” Mark says.
“You never get hurt, you never really live.”
His eyes shimmer in the moonlight.
“Sorry,” I say. “I was trying to cheer you up. Not bring you down.”
“I don’t think that’s going to happen tonight. I don’t know what makes me feel stupider—that it happened or that Greg thought I’d be dumb enough to fall for his excuse.”
“Neither seems all that great,” I joke.
He smirks, and like when we fuck, I enjoy knowing I’m the reason he’s feeling better. That I can please him.
“If you’d asked me when we started this if I thought you’d be counseling me about a breakup, I would’ve said, ‘Hell no.’ ”
“If you’d asked me, I would’ve said the same thing. But since we’re on the subject of counseling, want to talk about last weekend?”
I can tell by the way he frowns that he doesn’t, but I wanted to give him the chance.
“Come on, man,” I say. “I know that had to be a lot for you. I saw the look on your face while your mom was giving that speech.”
He reaches into his pocket and retrieves his phone. He fidgets around on it for a moment before handing it to me.
“That’s her,” he says.
It’s a picture of a girl. She’s gotta be in elementary school. Maybe eight or nine at most. With blonde hair and blue eyes, she has the biggest smile in the world. And I can see the similarity in Mark’s smile. Their mom and dad stand on either side of them as they huddle together for a group picture. They must be on a mountain because the ground drops off behind them, and in the background, a river runs through a deep valley.