Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 55550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 278(@200wpm)___ 222(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 278(@200wpm)___ 222(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
Her fingers trail into my five o’clock shadow and nails dig into my skin. It’s a welcomed feeling, proving I’m alive and this is what my body needs. What I’ve been missing. This is where I belong—where I have always belonged—with Lemon.
Lemon grips my head firmly, keeping me from escaping as she works her mouth against mine. She moans, sending a jolt right to my crotch. I pull her closer, needing her to understand what she does to me.
“Don’t,” she says as she pulls away. “I can’t go there with you.” Her fingers touch her lips as she averts her eyes and pulls away from me.
“Why not? I love you, and I know you love me. I don’t understand why you want to keep this wall up between us when there doesn’t need to be one.”
She looks at me sharply and I step back. This is definitely the look she gives kids who are sent to her office for making toilet paper bombs in the bathroom. “Because you cheated.”
“The hell I did.” I run my hand over my ball cap in frustration. “That night . . .” I pause not really wanting to remember the night shit went down between us because she needs to know I’m not the only one to blame. I step toward her and lift her chin so she’s looking at me. She needs to hear the words I have to say, and I hope they sink in.
“That night you broke my heart, Lemon. You shattered it into a million little pieces. I was hurt and drunk and . . . I don’t regret it because I got Goldie from it. But you devastated me that night and the weeks after when you wouldn’t take my phone calls. We were together for seven years and you just closed the door like I wasn’t standing on the other side.”
Lemon steps back, leaving me no choice but to drop my hand. “And when I finally found the courage to call you back, you had moved on.”
My head shakes at her words. “See that’s where you’re wrong. Ana and I have never been a couple.”
If I hadn’t been watching her, studying her, I would’ve missed her expression change from aggravation to shock. It was quick, but I saw.
“That . . .” She pauses and inhales. “That doesn’t change things.”
“Why not?” I ask, throwing my hands up. She stares at me while I wait for her to tell me why things can’t change. I step closer, wanting to be near her.
“Why not, Lemon?” My voice is quiet, full of remorse and longing.
Lemon takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Because I don’t like . . .”
“Me?” I interrupt her, hoping I’m giving her the easy way out by nodding.
Her gaze meets mine. I step closer to her and reach for her hand, my thumb caressing her soft skin. “I know that’s not true, Lemon. I could tell by the way you just kissed me back. By the way you held me.”
Lemon drops her hand from mine and steps back. I hate that she’s insisting there needs to be space between us when there doesn’t. She crosses her arms under her breasts again. “You’re a good kisser. Always have been.”
I can’t help it but smile.
“But that doesn’t change how I feel.”
“How do you feel?” I fight the urge to close the ridiculous gap between us.
Her gaze penetrates mine. “I’m jealous,” she says, spewing the horrible word out of her mouth.
I can’t help it and scoff, regretting the action immediately. She doesn’t need me to be a dick right now. “I already told you. Ana and I aren’t a couple. Never have been. Never will be. You have absolutely nothing to be jealous of, Lemon.” I run my hand over my hat again and shake my head. “If I had known this years ago, things would be so different between us.”
She inhales deeply, shaking her head. “I’m not jealous of Ana. I’m jealous of Goldie.”
I freeze and stare, certain I didn’t hear her correctly. I asked her earlier if she was jealous of Goldie and she said no. “I don’t understand.”
“Because she should be my daughter. Not Ana’s.”
twelve
lemon
My feet slog through the soaked grass preventing me from stomping away from him. I want to scream and make a scene so he knows how hurt I am, but I don’t.
I can’t.
It’s not because I’m mature or even natured. It’s because I don’t know whether I should cry out in frustration with how I feel toward a child or cry out because when Wade kissed me, it was like everything was right in my world again. Being in his arms was like being home again. For the longest time I thought of him as that—as home. My safe space. The one I could count on for anything. The one who would be there, no matter what.