Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 108173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
“And I also,” she continued, “reserve the right to ask you whatever personal questions I want to about your past.”
“You can ask.”
She could totally hear the unspoken but I won’t answer, in his tone of voice. But decided that it would do for now.
She continued to grin broadly at him and was gratified when she received the tiniest of smiles in return.
FIVE
The Wedding Reception
“Jesus, what a fucking dog and pony show,” Ben muttered when the DJ announced their arrival into the extravagantly decorated ballroom at the five-star Mount Nelson hotel in Cape Town an hour later.
They’d spent the last hour fake smiling for wedding photos in the beautiful hotel gardens, with the pale pink walls of the grand old building as a backdrop, while their waiting guests had been served light refreshments in the conservatory. Lilah had hired the best photographer for the wedding photos and Stefano Giannini had bullied her and Ben into smiling, touching, hugging, even kissing…
It had been painful to pretend, when all Lilah had wanted to do was escape, tear off this wedding dress, and process what she’d learned in the last few hours.
Blake, her best friend, had sensed that something was off, and had tried to catch Lilah’s gaze a few times. But Lilah had diverted her friend’s attempts at communication, and focused instead on smiling, smiling, smiling…
Even Ben’s usually remote and moody best man, Rhys, looked concerned, but refrained from saying anything. Luckily, the bridal party was small, and Lilah didn’t have to contend with any other worried glances. Gramps had stood for a couple of pictures, looking proud as punch as he’d posed between them. And then a picture with only Lilah. Followed by one with Ben, who had no family. Gramps had always been like a grandfather to Ben.
Lilah’s world had tilted on its axis. The man she’d believed she loved above all else had lied to her and betrayed her in a most unforgivable way.
No… that was wrong.
Her vision blurred as she forced herself to acknowledge that Ben hadn’t lied to her.
Not once.
He hadn’t even told her he loved her. She had chosen to interpret his words as such. He had mentioned love once only and that had been as a hypothetical. He’d never said the word again, but Lilah had foolishly believed that it was because Ben wasn’t one to wear his heart on his sleeve. That an aloof man like Ben wouldn’t find it very easy to say words like I love you.
And she’d hugged the memory of that one time close to her heart, telling herself it was all she needed.
This pain was her own doing. She’d been blind to the obvious truth and the veil had been ripped from her eyes just moments too late.
Now, as smiling friends and colleagues surrounded them, Lilah felt like she was swathed in masses of cotton wool. She could barely breathe and she automatically clutched for her inhaler, only to remember that she’d opted not to carry one today. So stupid. She knew better than this. Regardless of what she expected, she should always carry her damned inhaler. Or at least have given it to Blake to carry for her.
But she’d been anticipating a happy, stress-free day surrounded by loved ones.
This reality was the exact opposite of that expectation. Her loved ones felt like strangers to her and Lilah had never felt more lonely or more grief-stricken.
The pain was immeasurable. And like Ben, Lilah wanted this farce of a wedding over with.
His sharp blue eyes had narrowed on her. Ben never missed anything and he’d seen her hand flail uselessly toward a non-existent pocket. His grip on her arm tightened and he lowered his head to ear.
“What’s wrong?” The urgency in the question belied the calmness in his expression.
“Noth—” She heard the high-pitched wheeze in her chest when she attempted to speak and his gaze sharpened.
“Where’s your inhaler?”
She shook her head mutely and his brow lowered in concern. The first time she’d seen an emotion, other than indifference or impatience, on his face all day.
“You don’t have one?”
Another panicked head shake from her and he swore beneath his breath.
“It’s okay, it’s alright,” he murmured, his voice calm and soothing. “Breathe, Lilah.”
He’d turned fully toward her, his bulk shielding her from their guests.
“Ca… can’t.”
Her chest had closed up and her throat was swelling shut, her eyes watered as panic set in.
He quickly lifted her into his arms and elbowed his way through the now concerned and silent crowd.
“I’ve got you, you’re okay.”
She was so not okay, and despite her fear, she found herself annoyed with him for saying that she was.
She didn’t know where he was taking her, but could hear the panic in her grandfather’s voice as he asked what was wrong.
Ben ignored the old man and eventually dropped Lilah on a padded chair, before he squatted in front of her and gently smoothed her hair from her face. He lifted an inhaler to her lips and she clutched at it urgently—not sure where it had come from, but grateful that it was there. When one metered dose didn’t immediately work for her, she followed it up with another, which thankfully did the trick. Her head dropped and he cupped her jaw in his palms, lifting her chin to maintain eye contact, while he continued to quietly urge her to breathe and assuring her that she was okay.