Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 108173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
His palms cradled her face, their only other point of contact, thumbs leisurely stroking the sensitive skin next to her lips.
Lilah made a soft sound of acquiescence beneath that hard, relentless mouth and her own hands came up to cover his. As soon as she touched him, he stiffened and withdrew. First mentally, then physically. Hands retreating, lips lifting, and then he shifted his body until he was staring out of the windscreen into the cold, wet night.
His chest heaved as he strove to gain control of his breathing, and only once he managed to regulate that, did he attempt to speak.
“You’re an attractive woman, Lilah,” he said, his voice rough but level. “Most men would want you.”
Still giddy, and not thinking clearly, Lilah lifted a wondering hand to her lips, unable to believe what had just happened.
“I had no idea you felt this way.”
“Is this what you need to hear?” He practically sneered the question and she recoiled at the anger she heard in his voice. “To make the prospect of a life with me more palatable? Despite everything at stake, you want to play these games?”
Games?
Hazy, and a little confused, Lilah blinked up at him uncertainly. It was too dark in the car to see him clearly, but his head was turned toward her and he was staring at her.
He sighed, seeming to see something in her expression that answered his question.
He reached over to stroke her jaw tenderly.
“If it helps, I can tell you I care about what happens to you, Lilah.” His voice throbbed with tenderness and stole the last of her breath. “Hell, what if I told you I loved you? I could even do that. If it’s what you need to hear.”
He loved her?
Lilah’s heart stuttered in her chest, before restarting with renewed vigor. As if all she had ever needed was to hear those words from this man. Yes, this was the weirdest courtship—for lack of a better word—ever. But this was Ben, and Ben had never been one to do things the conventional way.
“And you want to marry me?” she asked, her voice whisper soft.
“I have to marry you. Stop doing this, for fuck’s sake. Stop pretending. You have to face reality at some point. And I don’t…” His voice floundered and for once he seemed as confused as Lilah often felt around him. “Look, I know Cyrus likes to treat you with kid gloves because of your asthma. And, Jesus, I’m trying to be patient and trying to give you that same consideration… but I’m concerned about you, okay? This isn’t… it can’t be healthy.”
“You don’t have to be concerned about me,” she told him quietly, inserting as much dignity as she could into her voice. Is this why he had been behaving so strangely? Had Gramps warned him to go slow because of her asthma? Was Ben afraid of overwhelming her and triggering an attack?
Suddenly it all made so much sense. How he’d kept her at a distance, the formality in the way he treated her and spoke with her… his reluctance to respond to even her most blatant attempts to instigate more intimacy between them.
Oh, God, how could she have been so blind?
“Ben, I’ve faced reality, as you put it, a long time ago.” Another frown from him as he stared at her intently, not removing his gaze from her face for even an instant, while she spoke. “I can cope. I have been coping. I don’t need you or Gramps to pussyfoot around me. It is what it is… and I’m making do in my own way.”
He mulled over her words, looking somewhat relieved, and nodded.
“When you ask me to marry you,” Lilah continued and then glared at him when he raised a brow. “I said when and I meant it… whatever that was earlier, it wasn’t a proposal. It was a statement of intent, sure, but not a proposal.”
His lips twitched and he nodded, looking a little more relaxed now.
“As I was saying, when you ask me to marry you, I probably won’t succumb to shock and start gasping for breath and die on the spot.” He looked a little wild-eyed and queasy at the notion and Lilah grinned wickedly, before emphasizing, “Probably…”
“That’s not funny at all, Lilah! It raises a concern I’ve never really considered before. About—uh—intimacy and your asthma.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Don’t worry, Ben, experience has taught me that my lungs can withstand the occasional kiss… and so much more.” Her grin widened when his expression darkened at the last two words.
Was he jealous? How thrilling.
“If we’re doing this thing, Ben, we’re going to do it right.”
“Kisses only for now,” he ground out from between clenched teeth.
“I solemnly swear not to jump your bones,” she said, pressing one hand over her heart and holding the other up. She fought back her laughter at his disgruntled expression. She felt stupidly lighthearted now that she knew Ben did want her but was probably keeping his desire in check out of respect for her grandfather. She felt lighthearted and daring enough to poke this adorable stuffy bear of a man.