Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 118042 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 590(@200wpm)___ 472(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118042 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 590(@200wpm)___ 472(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
She glanced at the cane I’d thrown to the ground.
I didn’t really need it anymore.
I’d only used it because Q’s doctors were quite scary in their care, and they insisted I have some support while the torn muscle in my leg repaired.
“I feel it in the way you look at me,” she whispered. “I feel the answering tug in my belly. It’s been so long…too long. Let’s go back inside and—”
“What? Right now?” I sucked in a breath.
Once again, sheer love threatened to crack my ribs apart.
We had nowhere to be, no rules to follow, no Masters to please.
Just us.
The novelty of endless days and nights just the two of us made my heart skip a million beats. “I want you, Ily. So fucking much. It’s just…”
“You’re afraid you’ll hurt me?”
I winced. “I’m afraid I’ll want to hurt you.”
She held my stare, so much stronger than me. “Don’t you remember how I react to you when you do? I told you, I’m not someone who likes pain, but with you…” She blushed. “You give me pleasure I’ve never known.”
I looked away, my mind crowding with whipping her in Sapphire Scars and the way she dripped with pleasure. It wasn’t a lie that she’d enjoyed it, just…I didn’t know if I could do that again. I didn’t have the right. I’d never had the right to mark her, torment her. Hanging my head, I whispered, “I’ve already hurt you far too much.”
“Don’t you think that’s up to me to decide?”
I scowled. “I love you, little nightmare. I fucking adore you, and I won’t—”
“Why do you call me that?” she interrupted. “Little nightmare? I’ve always wondered.”
I blinked at the subject change. Shrugging, I said, “Because from the very first moment we met, you terrified me more than anything.”
She stilled. “You were afraid of me?”
“Of course, I was.” I rubbed my cold nose to hers. “You are and always will be the only one who has the power to make me break. You’ve broken me a thousand times, yet somehow you’ve put me back together again in ways I wouldn’t have been able to without you.”
Her eyes filled with sparkling tears.
The creature inside me salivated to taste them.
Pushing her away, I bent and grabbed my cane and walked across the lawn.
She followed me, laughing softly under her breath. “One of these days, you have got to stop making me fall in love with you.”
I slammed to a halt.
Our eyes met.
I fell.
I tumbled heart first into a snowdrift of effervescent happiness.
She wanted me? Well, she had me. Forever.
I’d find a way to make her come as hard as she had back at Joyero with worship instead of wounds. And then I’d put a ring on her finger, just like I’d promised when we first met.
“Come with me.” Grabbing her glove-puffy hand, I tugged her toward the château.
I had no idea where we would end up in another few weeks when we left France. We couldn’t stay here, and Ily said her place was with me now, not back in England with her parents.
I’d tried to give Q his money back, but he’d refused. I couldn’t keep it, so…I’d already begun tracking down all the jewels who’d survived with us. I owed a million euro debt to the guards who’d taken our side. Q assured me he hadn’t killed those who’d fought for us, and I had every intention of finding each one to say thank you.
Once I’d tracked down the jewels, I planned on sharing my ill-gotten wealth with them. Q said he’d already paid them a small sum to help them get back on their feet, but what I wanted to give them was worth so much more than money. To me at least.
I needed to give them something I’d never had when I was younger.
After trauma like what we’d all endured, sometimes the mask we put on for other people became permanently fused with our souls. It hid everything we hadn’t dealt with. It allowed us not to scare our loved ones from the truth of just how fucked up we’d become.
I’d had no one to help me through what my father made me do.
I’d fused that mask right onto my very bones, and my mind had systemically deleted every memory that didn’t conform with the story of ‘I’m fine.’
I didn’t want that to happen to Corinne and Caishen, Citra, and all the others.
Even if they didn’t want it now, I needed them to know that someone would always be there to listen. Someone who had firsthand knowledge of their pain.
A community.
A fucked-up family.
A friend.
I wanted to ensure they knew they were never alone. They might have their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, but only those of us who had been there could truly share in the nightmares, the scars, and the memories.