Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 138287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
He nodded but I could tell he didn’t believe me. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if he’d actually heard what I’d said.
I watched in complete fascination as Connor took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly and as he did, his entire demeanor changed. His shoulders sank, his eyes became rock star lazy and he grinned that beautiful crooked grin. It was almost alarming how well he could fake it.
This wasn’t my Connor.
This was their Connor. The one they loved and expected. The Connor who always got himself into trouble.
This was the Connor Clash who wrote “Virgin Tears” and released it without a backward glance.
And my stomach turned.
Connor ran out the meet Joe and they spoke for a second up close. Fans continued to screech. Whatever Joe had said had Connor chuckling and shaking his head. They both took their seats and waited until the screaming stopped. Just as it did, one woman yelled out, “I love you, Connor!”
Connor’s body shook with unconcealed mirth. He responded kindly and quietly with, “Thanks.”
Joe Reno looked at Connor a long moment. He said nothing but his smile grew.
Connor stared at the man, his own smile creeping wider. “What? Do I have something on my face? You’re making me nervous, Joe.”
Joe shook his head, smile still in place. He seemed to think about what he to say next. “You look good, Connor.”
The way he said it… the emotion in his voice… the unspoken words beneath that statement, and the way the audience suddenly broke into applause once again, had me tearing up.
Because before Connor was mine, he belonged to them. They loved him. And they were rooting for him.
The clapping and cheering went on and on and, suddenly, I was clapping too. The audience stood and Connor’s eyes closed. He gripped the arms of the chair he sat in so tightly, his knuckles turned white. Shaking his head, he opened his eyes and when he did, he revealed himself as he was.
Full of emotion. Grateful. And scared.
So scared.
Joe Reno stood and leant into him, speaking quietly. Connor listened hard to what he had to say and when he was done, Connor stood and hugged the man.
The audience loved it. Applauding and cheering even harder. And when I peeked out through glistening eyes, I was stunned to see so many of them wiping away stray tears.
With one last slap on the back, Joe Reno and Connor separated, taking their seats and as the applause dimmed, Connor spoke without prompting. “I need to say something, Joe.” He was honest and heartfelt. “I have done a lot of things I am not proud of.” The silence that suddenly filled the studio was eerie. Connor cleared his throat before continuing, “In the past, I’ve been reckless and impulsive and really goddamn selfish.” He shuffled in his chair, his tone quiet, “I’ve hurt people. People who have supported me unconditionally. I’ve driven people away. My band mates have put up with so much,” he laughed humorlessly. “Too much.” He licked his lips. “And I just want to say sorry to anyone I’ve made feel like they were nothing.” He paused a second. “I’m working through my problems and slowly becoming a better person.”
The knot in my stomach unraveled, and the pride I felt then…
Unmatched.
When the audience attempted to start another round of applause, Joe spoke over them, cutting it short. “You’re not doing this alone though, are you? You’ve had some help.”
“Well…”
“C’mon, Connor,” Joe poked in good humor. “We’ve all seen her. You’re everywhere together, in the papers, you and your Violet Dame.”
More claps. A piercing wolf whistle sounded in the back.
Connor smirked mischievously but said nothing.
Joe tried again. “Tell us about her.”
Realizing he wasn’t going to get away that easy, Connor straightened in his chair, wearing a far-away smile. “What can I say about her?” The long quiet made my stomach churn, especially when he lost his smile and uttered a frank, “I don’t deserve her.” Swallowing hard, he lowered his gaze and revealed quietly, “Never have. Never will.”
My heart skipped a beat. My throat thickened.
Connor appeared to be lost in his own thoughts, speaking through them as they came. “She is smart. And sweet.” He smiled softly. “And so funny.”
Oh, God. He was killing me.
“You love her.” A statement.
Connor puffed out a laugh, nodding. “Yes. Yes, I do. More than anything.” Running a hand through his unruly hair, he added warmly, “My wife is an amazing person. She literally saved my life.”
Joe Reno’s eyes widened. “So, you are married?”
Connor blinked then frowned. “Did people not know this?”
“Not officially, no,” laughed Joe.
“Really?” Connor turned to look at me and when he saw me laughing silently, shaking my head, he winced, “Oops.” The audience laughed as Connor groaned and ran a hand down his face. “Sorry, baby.”