Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 138287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
I read the messages over and over again.
On Sunday…
ConnorClashOfficial: Do you miss me too?
Of course, I did. How could I not?
Monday’s message was sweet.
ConnorClashOfficial: I just bought Twizzlers. Made me think of you.
Tuesday’s note had me chuckling.
ConnorClashOfficial: I can’t believe you thought Britney Spears wrote “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll.”
ConnorClashOfficial: JESUS, baby.
Wednesday’s mood was solemn.
ConnorClashOfficial: Think you might ever talk to me again? I miss your voice.
He obviously saw that I was reading these messages because on Thursday…
ConnorClashOfficial: I wonder if I’m pissing you off or making you happy with these messages. Hmmm.
On Friday, he shocked me by revealing this little tidbit.
ConnorClashOfficial: Did you know I stole a pair of your panties on tour?
I almost responded to that one and when I found myself typing, I rolled my eyes and deleted the message.
That was exactly what he wanted. I was certain of it. And I almost fell for it.
And today, I read the message with a huge grin on my face.
ConnorClashOfficial: Remember Agata? Gave her a Benjamin and she still didn’t kiss me. What a bitch.
I tipped my head back and laughed heartily as another message came through.
ConnorClashOfficial: Want to go to bingo with me?
My smile waned.
Oh, God.
Yes, I did. Very much. But that didn’t change the position we were in.
With a tight-lipped stare, I looked over the messages I cherished one last time then put my phone into my bag.
“Hey,” I said as I approached.
Noah stood and smiled widely. “Hey, yourself.” I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him hard. He must’ve felt my need for contact and stroked my hair. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head, feeling uncertain. “No. I’m really not.”
We sat at the table in the cute Italian bistro and I ordered a soda. I was too on edge to adult today. Wine would only make me antsier.
Once my drink had arrived and we were alone, Noah rested his gaze on me. “It’s Connor, isn’t it?”
Of course, he knew. Everyone knew. The world knew. Nothing in my life was private anymore and what was worse was I all but invited the public into my world with myself acting as tour guide.
Some days, I really didn’t want to be The Violet Dame. Some days, I just wanted to be plain old Emmy.
Unfortunately, it was too late to go back now.
Truth was, I didn’t know if I’d change things even if I could.
With a sigh, I played with my straw and nodded. “Yeah.” I peeked up at him. “It’s Connor.”
“What’s going on with you two?”
Ha! He was asking me?
I didn’t have a clue.
It was frustrating to no end. “I don’t know. Nothing really.” And that’s what sucked. “He does his thing, posting about me, sending me messages every day, and I…” I really like it. “I do nothing.”
Noah frowned. “If it bothers you, I’ll tell him to stop.”
My response came too fast, too animated. “No.” I licked my lips. “No, don’t. It’s okay.” Grudgingly, I admitted, “This probably makes me pathetic but I actually look forward to it.” My lip curled. “It’s the highlight of my day.”
Noah nodded slowly, his face impassive, and when he asked his next question, I felt something inside me give. “You still love him?”
My smile was sad. I peered up at my friend and spoke softly. “I never stopped, Noe.”
He sighed deeply not speaking a while but when he did, he averted his eyes. “He talks about you all the time. Emmy this and Emmy that. Tells us about all the adventures you guys went on—” He scratched his temple. “—that none of us knew about.” As if he just remembered something, he narrowed his eyes at me but softened it with a smile. “Which, by the way—” He leaned in. “—you got a tattoo?”
Oh.
My face flushed. “He didn’t tell you where, did he?”
“No, he didn’t.” He sipped at his beer then grinned. “Killer Queen.”
My eyes widened and I gasped, outraged. “He told you!”
Noah chuckled a long while before he sobered. “He’s not the same Connor I knew a year ago. He doesn’t go out. He’s got no interest in women, other than you. He tries to get us to go to bingo with him, Emmy!” I hid my smile while Noah looked baffled. “I mean, seriously. Who is this guy?” When his eyes landed on mine, they softened. “What did you do to him, honey?”
I thought about it and when the answer came, I lowered my eyes. “I loved him too much.”
Noah allowed me a moment of silence before he asked, “Do you want to see him?”
I wanted nothing more.
But I didn’t say that. Instead, I shrugged, and muttered, “I don’t know.”
Noah and I walked out of the bistro and when I leaned in to hug him, he looked around. “We’re being watched.”
What an odd thing to say.
My brow knitted but I smiled. “We always are.”