Total pages in book: 22
Estimated words: 21094 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 105(@200wpm)___ 84(@250wpm)___ 70(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 21094 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 105(@200wpm)___ 84(@250wpm)___ 70(@300wpm)
I clear my throat to hide the emotion welling inside me. This is all I’ve known for twenty years, and just like that, I’m done. I thank him, and as I walk out of the office, my thoughts go to Jane. I type out a text to her.
“I’m coming home.”
I think about it and am about to delete it before I impulsively hit send. With a sigh of relief, I call Ethan. He picks up on the first ring and says hello.
“Hey,” I croak out.
He’s taken aback, and it doesn’t take him long to figure it out. “They’re letting you out.”
It’s more of a statement than a question. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
Ethan laughs on the other end. “Breathe, brother. It’s going to be okay. This is what you wanted.”
I snap myself out of it as the doubts start to pile up. “I know, but…”
I walk outside the building and take a deep breath. I don’t slow down as I walk to the barracks. I’ve been living out of my sack for a while now, hoping for this day, and I could literally be on the road in an hour.
“But what? You said this was what you wanted. Have you changed your mind?”
I shake my head. “No. I want this.”
Ethan laughs. “So what are you so freaked out about?”
“I’m not—” I start to deny it, but Ethan is quick to call me out.
“We served side by side for how many years? I know you, and you’re freaking out. It’s Jane, isn’t it? Have you told her you’re coming home?”
My voice doesn’t even sound like my own. “I sent her a text.”
Ethan laughs loudly into the phone. “You sent her a text?”
I shrug like it’s no big deal, and I realize Ethan can’t see me. “Yeah, I sent her a text. What’s the big deal?”
“What’s the big deal?” he repeats. “Oh, I don’t know, you’re retiring from the SEALs and you sent a text to your wife to let her know. She’s the woman you’ve been in love with for the last seven years, and you thought it was a good idea to TEXT her?”
I don’t even try to deny how I feel about Jane. It would be a waste of time because Ethan would see right through it. “I just…” I start and then stop myself.
“You just what? Spit it out.”
“I’m a fool. It’s been seven years. Hell, she could be seeing someone or something. Plus, I’m not going to …” I huff out a breath and stop outside the barracks.
I’ve rendered Ethan speechless.
“Look, forget it. I’m good. How about you? How’s your mission?”
When he still doesn’t respond, I say his name again. “Ethan.”
He groans. “Please tell me you’re not going to try and be some martyr or some stupid shit like that. You’re going to start spewing crap about how you don’t deserve her and you’re saving her from you. I swear if you do, you’re a bigger dumbass than I thought. It’s obvious you love her. Don’t fuck this up, Grant.”
He knows me too well. Even though I’m dying to get home to Jane, I’m still determined to hold back. I need to have something to offer her besides the emotionally wounded walking disaster that I’ve become. So what do I do? I lie to my best friend. “I promise. I’ll give it my best shot.”
He blows out a breath. “How come I feel like you’re lying to me?”
“I will. I’ll do my best. Now can we quit talking about me? What’s up with you? Have you come clean with Kelsie, or does she still think she’s writing to Tom?”
When he doesn’t answer me right away, I continue, “I can’t believe you’re giving me a lecture about Jane when you’ve been lying to Kelsie this whole time. She’s going to find out it’s you eventually, and she’s not going to forgive you.”
“I’m not hurting her… I’m doing it to protect her.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever the reason, you’re still going to hurt her by lying to her.”
“Shit, Grant. What are we doing? Are we going to spend all day gossiping with each other or what?”
I nod at a few of the guys walking by. “You’re right. Okay, I was just calling to tell you I’m heading home. Be safe out there, brother.”
“You got it. I need to go, but I’ll be in touch. See ya, brother.”
I hang up and pocket my phone before heading inside. I’m going to grab my sack and get on the road. It will take a few days to get from California to Tennessee, but it will give me plenty of time to figure out a plan for when I get home. For seven years, since the day I met Jane, I’ve wanted to be with her. But can I take what I want if I know it’s not the best thing for her?