Total pages in book: 39
Estimated words: 36070 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 180(@200wpm)___ 144(@250wpm)___ 120(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36070 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 180(@200wpm)___ 144(@250wpm)___ 120(@300wpm)
I pushed myself into a sitting position and dropped my face into my hands with a long, loud groan. How the fuck was I going to do this? Move past this? Healing felt like a big joke people who didn’t understand liked to say.
I wasn’t sure I would ever heal from this.
I looked up when the apartment door quietly opened, and Chase stepped inside, quietly shutting it back behind him with a barely audible click. He jerked in surprise when he saw me sitting up in bed. “Jessica said you might be sleeping,” he rumbled. He walked over to me, his boots thumping across the hardwood floor. And somehow, that sound soothed me a little. Because unlike the assholes who had ripped away something I would never get back, I knew Chase would never intentionally hurt me. “You okay, cupcake?”
Blowing out a soft breath, I shook my head. “Every time I shut my eyes, I see them,” I told him, my voice low. Almost barely audible. I looked up at him, tears blurring my eyes. He frowned, showing he heard me. Groaning again, I pushed the tips of my fingers against my eyelids, trying to hold the tears in. “I just wish I didn’t still feel them touching me,” I croaked. And that was the goddamn truth. Even if I couldn’t sleep again, I just wanted to lose that one damn memory.
“Sophia,” Chase rasped, sitting on the bed beside me. He drew me onto his lap so I was straddling him and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I sobbed, breaking down. Crying again even though I didn’t fucking want to. “I wish I could do something to help you, cupcake. God, I’d do anything to make sure you didn’t feel like this ever again.”
There were those words again.
I’d do anything to make sure you didn’t feel like this ever again.
I leaned back to look at him. “Would you?” I whispered. “Do anything, I mean,” I added when he arched a brow at me in question.
It felt like everything depended on his answer. Because if he wasn’t willing to help me with this, I didn’t know what I would do.
He cupped my cheek and brushed the pad of his thumb over my lower lip when it trembled. “Anything at fucking all, cupcake. There’s no limit.”
“Touch me?” I pleaded. His eyes widened in surprise at my words. Another tear slid down my cheek. He was going to reject me. Oh, God, I couldn’t take it if he said no. “Please, Chase,” I begged. “Maybe if you touch me and fuck me, I won’t feel them anymore.”
“Sophia,” he rasped, looking unsure. His hands tightened their hold on me, conflict raging in his eyes.
My chin wobbled. “You said anything,” I reminded him. I was desperate. I needed help, and I didn’t know what else to do. I would fucking beg if that was what it took. I needed help.
He grasped my jaw in his hands, and they shook as he held me. “You’re sure you want this?” he rasped.
I nodded. “Please,” I pleaded again.
He groaned and brought my mouth to his, sealing our lips together.
And another tear ran down my cheek.
8
Chase
I didn’t fucking feel right about this. God knew I loved this woman in my arms to pieces, but she’d just been raped. She was struggling. And I knew she was using my love for her to get me to give her what she thought she needed. But I couldn’t deny her anything. Especially not when she looked at me with those big eyes and begged me to help her.
I would make this as quick as possible without hurting her. I didn’t want to do this. Not while she still wasn’t thinking straight. But I was terrified turning her away would do even more damage. What would she begin to think of herself if I told her no, I wouldn’t have sex with her? That I wouldn’t help her?
She’d start thinking she was ruined. Tainted. Undesirable. And fuck, even with bruises coloring her body, she was none of those things. She could never be any of those things.
No matter what she went through, what hell she endured, or what her body was put through, she was still the most precious, beautiful woman I’d ever laid my eyes on.
I gently laid her back on the bed, coming down on top of her. She sighed into the kiss, tears still streaming down her cheeks. Her broken expression was ripping my fucking soul apart. There’d be nothing left of me after this; I already knew that. She owned me, and she was using that ownership to destroy me.
But I’d never let her know that. Not while she was so fragile. So goddamn broken.
“I’m here, cupcake,” I rasped, trailing my mouth down her slender neck. Pushing her shirt up, I pulled it over her head. I laved my tongue over one of her nipples before doing the same to the other. She hiccupped, and I looked up at her, wondering if she wanted me to stop. Reading the question in my gaze, she shook her head.