Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 96922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
I needed to be alone.
Even having Nance there was too much.
I wiped at my face quickly, knowing I had to keep my cool while she was there.
Come on, Jace. Toughen up.
“Is everything okay?” Nance asked. She started around the couch, abandoning the groceries on the floor.
“I’m just sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I know you came all the way to play nurse, but you mind if I have some time to myself? A lot happened today, and I could use some time with my own thoughts.”
She glanced me over. “Okay, I’ll head out. But you mind if I sit here with you for a minute?”
“I’m worried about why you want to sit with me,” I said, detecting suspicious motives in her expression.
“You should be, Jacey.” She sat next to me and Mac, who still lay in my lap, and she stroked his coat with me. “I’m sorry for everything today brought up for you.”
“Nothing you could have done about it. And Dax warned me about this very sort of thing. I guess since it hadn’t come up already, I didn’t see why it would. At least, not like that. Or maybe it was just the timing with my injury and knowing you guys were worried about me.”
“We don’t get to choose how life happens, do we? Otherwise, Crawford would still be with us. And you wouldn’t have been in that fire. Or finding yourself completely head over heels for Dax.”
I didn’t deny it, but I didn’t say anything to give her more to work with either.
I cared about him, deeply so…more than I’d cared about anyone, but it wasn’t until that moment in the fire that I really knew just how much, and it scared the ever loving shit out of me.
“You think you’re so good at hiding how you feel, but you’re not, Jace. Not with me. It’s been too many years for that.”
“I was so selfish, Nance,” I confessed.
“How?”
“It was just harmless fun, and I’ve had fun with plenty of people before. But then this turned into more. I should have stopped it at some point. I should have walked away and let Dax live his life. I saw the look on his face when he walked into that hospital room. He was scared…really scared, just like you and Keegan. Not a day goes by where I don’t worry that I’m going to do the same thing Crawford did to us. That I’m hurting you guys by doing what I do.”
“Jace, I’m so proud of everything you’ve done. And yes, I’m terrified, more so because of what happened with Crawford, but I know with both of you, there’s nothing that you could do that could ever make you as happy as saving lives. I know that’s why you do it, and I love you for that.”
She put her arm around me, and Mac, seeming to realize he was standing between us, stepped off the sofa and headed to his bed by the media console. She scooted toward me, pulling me in for a hug, and it all came rushing out of me, every bit of emotion I felt, as though I’d been holding back, damming up. It spewed forth, and I wept as though I wasn’t just weeping over Crawford or Dax, but over everything that had ever happened that I’d held back.
I fought it, but it was pointless.
I was hopeless.
“There it is, Jace. I knew you had it in you somewhere,” she said, rubbing her hand over the back of my head.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger.”
“You don’t have to be strong all the time, Jace. We can take turns. That’s the whole point of life.”
“I know that, but thank you for saying it. I just love you guys so much, and I want to be here for you. You guys have my whole heart.”
“Yes, we’ve had your whole heart for a long time now, so maybe it’s time we share it with someone else.”
Her words caught me by surprise.
“I always figured Crawford was one of the reasons you kept people at a distance, never got in any serious relationships, and I hoped that when the right person came along, you’d know it was time to let the walls down.”
She pulled away and took my chin, lifting it so I was looking her in the eyes. I batted at my tears, struggling against them still.
“Don’t you think it’s about time, Jace?”
She was right. She echoed so many of the things I’d been battling since all this crap from our past had been dredged up.
Dax Munro…what am I going to do about you?
39
Dax
I pounded on the door to Serena’s hotel room so loudly, the sound echoed through the hall to the point where it even caught me off guard. My face swelled with heat as I tightened my fists.