Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 96922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96922 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
“And you told me that. I didn’t go into this blind.”
“I shouldn’t have ever come here.”
The way Jace was quiet after I said that left me wondering if he was thinking the same thing. I checked his expression, but it was impossible to figure out how he felt about anything that happened in the past twenty-four hours. I was frustrated as fuck because I was so used to being able to read him. He was an open book, and he’d slammed shut on me.
“Maybe you’re right.” Soft as he said the words, I could hear him choke on them, and the way his eyes teared up, I knew it was the truth.
He might as well have hauled off and punched me in the crotch because that’s how much it hurt. Overcome with emotion, and the pain of feeling Jace shove me away in an instant, was too much. I wanted to thrash about and destroy something, tear his living room apart, but I kept myself together.
“I’ve gotta…I’ve gotta go,” I spat out, spinning around.
I heard Mac whimper, and Jace called out my name.
“I’m going to fix this, Jace. I’ll fix it,” I said quickly as I headed out the door and to my car.
Tears rushed down my face, streaming effortlessly.
No, that wasn’t me. I was Dax fucking Munro. I didn’t fall apart over guys. I handled my shit. I didn’t need anyone.
But I wanted Jace Kruse so fucking bad it hurt.
38
Jace
Fuck.
I was still so rattled from the accident in the fire, my night at the hospital, and from seeing Crawford’s name and face put on display on the news that I’d been so fucking careless with what I said to Dax.
“I shouldn’t have ever come here.”
I knew he was taking on the burden of all that had transpired, yet all I could think about when he’d said that was how much better it would have been for him had he never come to Fever Falls to get me to work on this damned deal.
He didn’t want the attention, or for his mother, who God knew he already had plenty of issues with, to evoke memories of those hard times from his past. Just as bad, when I saw his worry about me when he entered that hospital room, I knew I’d done that to him too.
When Dax said he shouldn’t have come, I should have told him none of it was his fault or that he was the best damn thing that had ever happened to me, but all I could think about was that maybe it was better that he left.
I was just fucking up his life, and I could only cause him pain and agony if he stayed.
I plopped down on the couch, sulking.
Mac must’ve sensed my grief, because he climbed on and licked at my face, which made me aware of the tears streaming down my face.
No. I won’t.
But they came unbidden, escaping the way they’d been trying to during my stay at the hospital.
“Mac, I sure have a way of fucking things up.”
He rested in my lap, and I rubbed the back of his neck, then behind his ears.
I should have called Dax, told him he was wrong and that he hadn’t fucked up anything about my life, but really, he had.
He fucked me up so bad in my head, but only in the best possible way. He came in through the back door, in more ways than one, and surprised the fuck out of me. Every moment we spent together made me feel more alive than I’d ever thought possible. Before I met him, I’d never felt like my life was empty, but even the silence that dragged out with him not around in that moment felt like agony.
I wanted to call and tell him how sorry I was that I so recklessly spit those words out that made him feel responsible for my pain, but all I could do was imagine how much better his life could be if he walked away and never had to deal with everything that being with me entailed.
I sat there for some time, agonizing over it all. A rattle at the door gave me hope for a moment, until it opened and Nance headed in with a couple of bags of groceries she’d picked up.
“Hey, baby, how you feeling?” She shut the door behind her, searching around my place. “Where’s Dax?”
I turned away, ashamed of what a coward I’d been with the way I pushed him away.
“Gone. Probably forever.”
I was being overdramatic. He was still in Fever Falls, and he’d left his things at my place, so he’d have to come back. But I wasn’t upset just about seeing him again. I was upset because I’d finally realized that the best thing for him might have been to get out of town and never see me again. However, the thought that I might never get to feel his touch, hear the cadence of his voice, or enjoy a joke he texted, made the burning sensation in my chest radiate through me, overpowering any pain I’d felt when injuring my leg.