Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
I cannot stop grinning.
"Actually, if you guys are having sex, that's fantastic," S'teph gushes, her expression warm. "You made a ton of progress."
Br'chit touches my knee again in that possessive way. "No sex yet. We're waiting until I'm ready. I know resonance is going to speed up that timeline, but A'tam has agreed to wait for a bit, and it just makes me…really happy." The look she gives me is shy.
"You have to figure out what works for you," S'teph says. "I'm not here to judge. Let's talk about communication a bit more, then. A'tam, do you want to start? Tell me your thoughts."
I take my mate's hand and lace my fingers with hers. "I am thinking we do not need this talk space if we are happy in the furs now."
S'teph is not offended by my words. "That's great and I understand where you're coming from, A'tam, but therapy isn't a one-off situation. What happens the next time you argue? You might not remember to use the tools that we talk about here. This is an open space to help you both communicate. What's the harm in talking more?"
Br'chit looks over at me. "I'd like to continue, if that's all right. She's got a point. The next time we argue—and you know there will be a next time—I don't want us to lash out at each other. My issues didn't come up overnight. They won't be solved overnight." Her expression turns uneasy. "Are you willing to keep going?"
I do not think it is necessary, but I shrug. "If you wish to have talk space every day, we will."
Her beaming, happy smile tells me that my answer is the right one. For that, I will let S'teph talk in my ear every day for the rest of my life, if need be.
36
BRIDGET
I wonder if it's possible to be blissfully happy and incredibly frustrated at the same time? It must be, because I'm living it.
Life for the next week is absolutely wonderful. We meet with Steph every morning and have our “talk space” as A'tam likes to call it. We discuss ways we can communicate with each other, things in our past that have frustrated us, and how to approach these things in the future. I'm trying to get better about opening up, and I even confess my big pottery secret in therapy. Steph doesn't look surprised when I mention it. It's still me acting to be someone that my mother would be proud of, she says, and it's to be expected.
I learn a lot about A'tam, too. He's exactly as stubborn as I thought he was, and can be incredibly obtuse at times. I learn that some of his stubborn insistence stems from him refusing to acknowledge bad things so they don't hurt him. He confesses to me one night that after the Great Smoking Mountain decimated their tribe, he did not talk about the loss of his family for months. That if he did not acknowledge it, it did not happen. That he and I'rec would get into fights because A'tam would pretend that his family was merely out hunting. That it took him a very very long time to come to terms with their death.
I hold him extra tight that night while we sleep after learning that. I'm not the only one with issues. I'm not the only one fucked up by life. In a way, it's good to hear, even though it makes me ache for him.
We're communicating better, too. There's the occasional short-tempered spat—resonance is messing with our minds—but we resolve it without tearing each other's throats out, and talk reasonably afterward, so I consider it a win.
And we touch.
All the fucking time.
We wake up in the morning, touching. We go to bed at night wrapped around each other. A'tam figures out that if I go down on him, he can go down on me, and the night we first try this, he doesn't come up for air until I've screamed his name. Twice. As for me, I'm getting more and more comfortable with Goliath. Now, I get excited when A'tam is hard, imagining all the ways we'll touch and pleasure each other. I no longer look at his cock as an issue. It's just another part of the man I love, and a part that I love to touch because I see how much pleasure it gives him. My life involves a lot of blowjobs now, but it's…fun. A lot of fun.
No one in the tribe seems to realize we're holding off on resonance. They know we're all over each other, and they know the reason. I'm pretty sure I'rec blabbed to everyone the moment he found out, because none of these men can keep a damn secret. So whenever we're around the others, we get a lot of smirks and comments about how loudly we're humming. That resonance is taking its time with us. Prior to our therapy sessions with Steph, I'd probably been irritated at their commentary, but now I see as sibling-teasing. It's affection from people who love one another and look out for one another. Even I'rec and O'jek have been decent, and Raven hugs me and refers to me as her sister.