Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 109640 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 548(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 365(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109640 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 548(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 365(@300wpm)
The rest of the changes had to do with them. As in them. The two of them. And a possible future with each other.
But before he could talk about a them, he needed to be honest with her and lay it all out on the table so she could make the best decision for herself.
He’d had a vasectomy when Dylan was about two and he realized his marriage was doomed. He didn’t tell Sasha, he only said he had to go out of town for an assignment and he got it done. He didn’t want to risk bringing another child into, what was by then, their irrevocably broken marriage. It was bad enough their two children were already affected by their tumultuous relationship.
He also couldn’t pretend he loved Sasha or was attracted to her anymore. Her ugliness on the inside marred her beauty on the outside. That was when he stopped having sex with her, as well. Of course, that led to the accusations of him cheating when in truth, it was her.
Gaslighting at its fucking finest.
After the shit he went through with Sasha, and was still going through, he never expected to get into any serious relationship again.
Even with a woman like Cami.
Especially with a woman like Cami.
Even if they were perfect for each other, he could never give her children, if that was something she wanted.
He needed to tell her now before things went any further. Because if she was dead set on becoming a mother in the future, it would not be with his children.
Could he have his vasectomy reversed? Maybe. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. It was a crapshoot.
But the real question was… Did he want more children?
Would it be fair to the two he already had? Would it be fair to any future children? While technically he wasn’t too old to have them, that didn’t mean he should.
If she really wanted children, they plausibly could adopt. Cross and his husband Nash had done that. Decker also adopted Valee Girl. And Crew was damn sure it wouldn’t be long before Sloane adopted her, too.
Axel Jamison’s kids were his by blood but born from a surrogate. His wife Bella couldn’t have children of her own due to tragic circumstances. They found a creative way to make it work with the cooperation of family.
No matter what, Crew’s children would be his children whether born from his sperm or not. Once he claimed them as his, they would be his forever.
But still…
Was that what he wanted?
It was a discussion they needed to have. Especially since he was going to broach the subject of him spending the rest of his life with her.
And find out if she wanted to do the same with him.
They might not be quite at that point yet, but he could see they were traveling in that direction and how she took the news might determine if they continued on that path.
Or if they slammed on the brakes.
He worried that even if she said she was fine with not having a family of her own now, she still had a good fifteen years to change her mind. What would happen ten years from now if she decided to find someone able to give her what she wanted?
Was he willing to take that risk?
Or would she stay with him and slowly become bitter because he couldn’t give her everything she wanted?
He did not want a repeat of his relationship with Sasha.
They’d only known each other for about three months. Rushing into a relationship wasn’t a good basis to start a future together.
He wasn’t young and easily swayed. He was seasoned. He’d been there, done that, had the divorce, alimony and child support papers to prove it. If he was going to get into any kind of serious relationship again, he wanted to be one-hundred percent sure about it first.
And that led him back to letting her know, if things kept moving forward with the two of them, he could never give her children. That could be her deciding factor. She’d have time to walk away before things between them got any deeper.
While he didn’t want her to walk away, he also didn’t want to hold her back.
Even so, he had to be careful on how he brought it up, since she might not be on the same page. He could be making more of this than he needed to if she didn’t want anything more from him than what she was already getting.
His cock.
And a few orgasms.
“I had a vasectomy,” he blurted out.
Oh, for fuck’s sake!
He groaned, dropped his head and pinched his forehead.
Silence met his admission. For one pounding heartbeat, then a second.
“Okay? Are you saying we can forego the condoms? I mean, there are other reasons to use them.”
He lifted his head to see her eyes on him. “Yes. I know…”