Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79726 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79726 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
“I don’t want to fuck you so I can connect to my fucking brother,” Remus says loudly, stalking away from me.
I finally stop, catching up to what I’ve been missing this whole time in my enthusiasm to present him with the idea. I was so excited about my revelation I hadn’t seen how tense he was.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. “Is there something going on you’re not telling me about?”
His gaze slides to the side. Then he steps forward again, eyes coming back to me even though his body stays tense. “I’ve been looking forward to getting home to you. And for once in my life, I don’t want to think about my goddamned brother. Can’t it just be you and me here? Like it was at the beginning?”
He kisses me, and for a moment, I want to get lost in him and say yes, of course. But even as my hands lift to twine around the back of his neck, they bump into Romulus’s face, and it hits me.
I pull away from his lips. “You’re not wearing your glamour.” And he hasn’t been since he came in. I didn’t register it then because I was so used to them, but his wings brushed the door as he entered.
He closes his eyes, and his wings shimmer, then disappear, along with his tail.
But what was he doing that he hadn’t had his glamour on before he came in? Was a glamour something you had to concentrate all the time on and he accidentally let it slip? Wasn’t that really dangerous here?
And why do I get the feeling he’s trying to distract me from something he doesn’t want to tell me?
When he tries to kiss me again, I pull back this time, searching his eyes. He just closes them, again moving in for a kiss.
“Remus,” I plead, shoving lightly against his chest. “I just want to talk.”
He breathes out hard, not looking frustrated exactly, but when he turns away from me, I get a closed-off feeling from him when usually there are more open lines of communication between us.
“We don’t have to talk about Romulus,” I say but can’t help adding, “even though we have to sometime.” I hold up my hands when his dark eyes flash my way. “It doesn’t have to be now, but your brother is a reality that’s not going away any time soon. Maybe right now, while everything else is going on, isn’t the time. But you’re not the only one in this. He’s a victim here too—”
“Is that what he’s telling you?” Remus lights up, obviously furious. “And who’s the other victim, you?”
“No,” I say, impatient with his attitude. I meant he was the other victim of the circumstances they’re caught in, but obviously, that’s the wrong wording to use with someone as prideful as him. “He’d never say that. He’s long-suffering about the whole thing, but he deserves a life and happiness, too, you know. We all do.”
“And you’d be happier with him, is that it?”
I throw my hands up in frustration. “I never said that. If you would just listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I don’t think anyone should suffer in loneliness when there’s plenty of love to go around.”
He scoffs. “Just say it with your full chest. You prefer him to me, and you’re both trying to edge me out.”
“What?” All the breath leaves my chest. I try to approach him, but he physically bars me from him with his hands.
“Don’t,” he says, his voice dangerous. “It’s been the same story my whole life. From the day I was born.”
I see all of the hurt in his eyes at his words, even though he pulls away from me at the same time. Not so much physically, but it’s like I can feel a mountain of walls spring up between us.
I want to tell him no, that I understand his hurt—maybe I don’t know how bad it was with his archaic father and the abuse his brothers and him endured or what that kind of prolonged trauma was like—but I do know what it’s like to want the love of a parent and feel constant rejection instead. If he would just let me in instead of pushing me away and assuming the worst about my intentions—
“Is it so impossible to believe that I could love both of you?” I ask, my heart breaking at the hardness on his face. “Is there no world where you could believe that I’m the kind of person with enough love in my heart to finally give you the absolute, unconditional love you’ve always deserved? Because I do, Remus. I love you. And I see how you’re hurting. I want to prove to you that you can be loved completely in a world where he exists, too. Let me prove to you how worthy I think you are.”