Total pages in book: 13
Estimated words: 12035 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 60(@200wpm)___ 48(@250wpm)___ 40(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 12035 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 60(@200wpm)___ 48(@250wpm)___ 40(@300wpm)
“How about I call the judge and we have you out of here. This isn’t going to work.”
“Look lady, I was sent here to do this, you don’t want me just let me get the hell out of here and you don’t have to see me again.”
“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. It’s either this or you go to jail.” She had that beam in her eye that women get when they think they got one over on you, like she had me just where she wanted me.
And she did, fuck. If I go to jail right before the holidays ma will ride my ass to the fucking grave. Talk about a rock and a hard place. I snatched up the bag and just to piss her off started to open my belt right there. “Excuse me.” Why the fuck is she so huffy?
“The fuck you going?” I love fucking with her; she’s just too easy. Maybe there was something to look forward to in this shit after all. My holiday was already fucked why not take her along with me?
“The changing room is down the hall third door to your left.” She pointed at the door. I was beaten and I knew it. I stomped out of there not too happy and somebody was gonna pay for this shit. Most likely my asshole brother who couldn’t get me a better deal than this shit.
The fucking suit weighed a ton with all the padding and shit and I looked like a real ass once I got it on. I was supposed to go back to her office but I looked at some kind of directory on the wall for the nearest bar. I was gonna need something to deal with what laid ahead. Figures. Dry fucking mall. Whatever. I headed back to her office dreading every step.
She started her shit again about what was accepted and what wasn’t, all the while looking at me like something she wished she didn’t have to share air space with. After that she threw me to the wolves. Apparently the gates of hell were about to open and spit out its spawns. Fuck my life.
“Could you try not to march like you’re going into battle? These are children. And change the look on your face.” If I had three AKs and a gym bag full of ammo she wouldn’t notice, but this she notices. The fuck is wrong with people? I didn’t bother answering her, just made my way to the chair they had set up in the middle of a mountain of fake snow and enough toy boxes to fill a small store.
The line was starting to form and I felt my blood start go on the boil. What kind of fucked up justice system we got in this country anyway? Granted I wasn’t convicted and my crime wasn’t against children. Just one asshole that thought it was fun to beat the shit out of his woman in a public bar, but still. “I’ll stay over here out of the way until you get the hang of it then you’re on your own.”
“I’m telling you now, anything heavier than my Tomcat get on my lap I’m throwing it the fuck off.” She reached for my arm but I sidestepped her and stepped up to the seat. Now she panics? I glared straight ahead, not one Ho came out of my mouth. My eyes started to twitch when I saw mothers lassoing their kids. Some of the little shits were already acting out. And then I saw her. What the fuck, “ma?” This shit just went from bad to FUBAR.
Some kind of music started that had nothing to do with the shit that was already piping through the loud ass system. I looked over to the side where Josephine was standing wringing the fuck out of her hands like she was expecting disaster, then back to ma. She had the look I knew only too well. That shit said ‘behave or else’.
“Ho-ho-ho.” The little shits cheered and the fuckery begun. The first few weren’t so bad, just little nose pickers with a list of shit that they weren’t about to get and certainly not from me. Then some lady came up next with a squalling brat that had better lung range than the best soprano.
Now the thing was, the parents stood off to the side so they could hear what the fuck the kid wanted while the kid sat on my lap. This one had to bring the kid all the way up to me on her own. I gave her the look of death when she plopped her evil seed down on me and tried to back away. “I should call ACS on your ass. Can’t you see this kid is terrified? The fuck kinda mother, are you?”