Total pages in book: 213
Estimated words: 201920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1010(@200wpm)___ 808(@250wpm)___ 673(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 201920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1010(@200wpm)___ 808(@250wpm)___ 673(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry.” Her expression shifts to one of sympathy as she says, “I didn’t mean--”
“I know what you meant,” I tell her and splay my hand on the small of her back, giving the shop one more look before guiding Chloe around the building to the front parking lot. “You need to eat.”
CHLOE
This diner isn’t remarkable, but the food is. I think it’s all the salt they put on everything. They even put it on the pizza.
Even though it’s my favorite place to eat, I’m surprised I was able to eat anything at all.
The fear and paranoia are embarrassing. I’m fucking embarrassed I got so worked up this morning. It’s just… finding that list and the nightmares really got to me. I felt like I was drowning in a childish fear that still has its claws rooted deep in my thoughts.
The fear faded to uneasiness when Sebastian talked me down. Just being around him makes me feel safe and protected. If I could be with him always, I would. Because he settles something deep down inside of me. He makes me crave more. More from life, but also more from him.
A different kind of nervousness took over the moment I got into his car. The soft leather was something I didn’t expect. The hum of the air conditioner and the occasional clearing of Sebastian’s throat were the only noises the entire ride.
This morning, I had to tell someone and he’s my only someone, even if that’s a pathetic truth. I didn’t think twice. He didn’t answer his phone, so I went to where I knew he’d be. It made every bit of sense to me at the time.
Until I slipped into his car and was engulfed in his scent. Until I peeked at him as he drove his car with an air of dominance and authority.
In a room with other people, or even in a room I’m used to being in, Sebastian is still the boy who kissed me. But alone, in his car, something changed. And suddenly I lost my voice along with every thought I ever had, except for the dirty ones that crept up late at night about Sebastian doing more than just kissing me.
Today has been nothing but a series of fucked up thoughts running wild in my head.
“What’s on your mind, Chloe Rose?” His deep, rough voice breaks into my thoughts and I take my time reaching for another fry, carefully taking a bite before answering him.
“Just wondering about how much can change in a single day.”
I can feel the heat rise up my chest and to my cheeks, all the way to my hairline as he leans forward, his broad shoulders stretching out the t-shirt as he tells me, “I would swear you were thinking about something else.”
His steely blue eyes seize all my attention and hold me accountable. I can barely breathe, but he doesn’t need the confirmation. He’s plenty full of himself already, so I simply eat the rest of the fry and shrug. I ignore the butterflies and the desire to push him for more of that teasing side of him. This is the part of his personality I’ve craved, but I don’t want to appear desperate or say something stupid. I don’t want to ruin it. I can barely believe I’m here with him. I don’t even want to think about it for too long; I’m afraid if I do, it’ll all go away.
His cocky half smirk is what makes me look anywhere but at him as I try to remember how I ended up here with him.
Thoughts that I wish I hadn’t tried to return to.
Remembering when my mother died, how I felt the same way. Afraid and paranoid. I felt like no one understood why I was so completely distraught. The mix of emotions never felt right, and I never had any control over them. They hit me relentlessly, like the constant blow of boughs as I was forced to run through trees in a forest. Swiping at me, scratching me, taking me by surprise. I was only a girl, but old enough to remember, old enough to know I could have done something.
“I thought I was done with all this,” I tell him absently.
“How’s that?” Sebastian asks me with his brow furrowed and a look in his eyes that’s compassionate and curious. This is how I imagined he’d look when I read those texts all that time ago. It was only an image conjured in my head because I’d never seen anything of him other than the hard, dangerous boy he wanted everyone to see.
“Do you really want to know?” I question him, the uneasiness returning. He nods his head once and I figure, why not? I have no one to talk to and after this, I’m not sure he’ll even talk to me again. So why not let it all out?