Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 64320 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64320 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
“You want him more than me?” My jealousy gets the best of me.
“Get away from me!” she spits out as she opens the door to head into the house.
“I’m coming back for you,” I tell her, and I mean it.
“Well I won’t be here, and I’m changing the locks on the townhouse. So good fucking luck with that.”
Chapter 19
Kat
It’s a heavy, sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. It rocks back and forth, making you queasy and your body can’t sit still. That’s what it feels like when you know you’re about to hurt someone.
At least that’s how it feels right now.
I don’t need anyone at all and I don’t want anyone either. Maybe I’m proving it to myself, or maybe to Evan. I don’t care which.
My pulse quickens, and I try to swallow the spiked ball in my throat when I hear the bell at the front of the café.
Jacob smiles sweetly with genuine happiness as he strolls over to the table, letting his jacket slip off his shoulders. I’m going to miss that charming grin he has. I’ll miss the comfort his presence brings more.
“One more nice day before winter comes in,” he says easily. It’s felt like winter for weeks now to me, but he’s from farther up north, so I suppose it hasn’t been as brutal to him as it’s seemed to me.
“One more nice day,” I repeat, nodding my head at the ceramic mug on the table. I have to force the smile to stay on my face, but it doesn’t fool Jacob.
“What’s wrong?” he asks me, not touching the mug of chai already waiting for him.
I hate that I get choked up. It’s stupid really. Childish and I’m far too grown for little kid games.
It was just friends, then just a kiss.
But it never should have been anything.
“Nothing,” I answer and shake my head slightly then pick up the mug. Jake’s face falls, but he still tries to cheer me up.
“So, I never got your answer about the movies tomorrow night.” He’s quick to change the topic, gracing me with that ever-present kind smile. “I heard it’s going to be good.”
My mug clinks on the small saucer as he adds, “I love coffee shops and all, but it’d be nice to do something more.”
More.
It would be. I can see it. I can feel it. If my heart didn’t belong to someone else, I could see Jacob being so much more. Well, not only that. I’m going to be a mother. My priorities have nothing to do with dating or starting anything new that doesn’t involve the little life I’m carrying.
“I have to tell you something.” I get the words out before I change my mind and swallow them. Before I give in to getting over Evan by getting under another man.
Jacob visibly winces then scratches the side of his neck as he looks to the right. “That doesn’t sound so good.”
“I kind of lied to you,” I confess, feeling a viselike grip on my heart.
“You’re not separated?” he says.
“No, we are. But I don’t want to be.”
“You still love him. I know you do.”
“There’s more,” I continue, not daring to look him in the eyes, and hesitate.
“Just tell me,” he urges me as if this is going to be easy, moving his hand to mine, and I stare down at where his skin touches mine. It’s gentle, kind. It’s the comfort I desperately need. But I can’t be expected to always have someone to lean on. More than that, I want to stand on my own.
“I’m pregnant,” I tell him and the only reaction I get is that his brow raises just slightly. It’s comical really, and the small movement forces the corners of my lips up. I’d laugh if my heart didn’t hurt as much as it does.
“That, I didn’t see coming,” he responds, keeping a small bit of humor in his voice. Slowly, he pulls his hand away but keeps it on the tabletop. I notice the absence of his touch instantly, though.
“Not far along?” I shake my head no at his question, feeling the end of my ponytail swish around my shoulders. “How long have you known?”
“A while,” I answer honestly.
“So that’s the lie?”
“Yeah … I’m sorry. I never should have kept that from you.”
“Don’t be,” he tells me and waves it off, as if it’s no big deal.
“I knew better. It was just …” I trail off and swallow my words, staring at a stain on the table. One that will never go away.
“It was nice being okay with someone. Right?”
I chance a peek up into his eyes. There’s nothing but understanding there. “Yeah,” I answer him and chew on my bottom lip. “I wanted to pretend to be okay for a little bit.”
“Well it’s not pretend,” he continues and adjusts in his seat. “You can be okay if you want to.” It’s hard to hold his gaze as he brings his hand back to mine.