Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 64320 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64320 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
With a chill hammering into my bones, I finally face Mason. My voice is ragged when I ask, “Do I go to her, or not?” If it was up to me, I would. I would hold on to her and lie in bed, denying everything and hiding away with the woman I love. All I can imagine, though, is that the door would be kicked in at some point. He’d come for me, and she’d be right there.
Mason’s expression falls and he runs a hand down his face before taking a half step closer. “My mistake, man, I’m sorry. Jules is there. She’s not going to leave her. Just … just wait a little longer.”
“How much longer?
“We don’t have shit. Lapour’s record is clean and there’s no evidence of anything. We’ll have to plant it. Including tampering with his emails and credit card data.”
“How long?” I question again, not bothering to hide the irritation in my voice.
“Only days.”
Days … I can wait days. Everything will be right again after that, and I’ll make it better. I nod, pacing in a short circle. Just days. The seconds tick by so slowly.
“After what happened in his office …” I voice the concern that’s repeating in my head on a loop. “The way he brought her up. Like he was …”
“She’s safe. I have her locked away with Jules and she doesn’t even know it.”
“Locked away?” I ask, stopping in my tracks.
“No one’s getting into that house. And Jules knows not to take her out. If Kat wants to go somewhere,” Mason says and snaps his fingers, “there’s a security detail that’ll be on her the second the door is opened.”
“So, she’s safe?” Knowing she’s all right makes not being with her a little easier to swallow. She’s protected and that’s all that matters. I can’t lose her too.
“She’s safe and this helps take any heat off her,” Mason answers me. “We’re tracking his emails and calls, and her name hasn’t been mentioned. Yours is, though.”
I snort at the idea of James planning a hit on me. “And what’s he saying?”
“Wants eyes on you. Wants to know what you’re doing and who you’re seeing.”
My heart sinks at the thought. “Who I’m seeing,” I echo, feeling crushed. It’s like he wants me to have to stay away from her.
“Yeah,” Mason says with a defeated tone. “Could mean his ex, could mean lawyers or cops …” He doesn’t finish but I hear the unspoken addition, could mean Kat.
My resolve hardens, but it sends a shooting pain down my chest. I twist the wedding ring on my finger and look back at the grave. I’ll be buried with this ring. Either now or years from now. Forever hers.
“Call her from a different phone, just one call?” Mason suggests as I watch the men shoveling piles of dirt. “Not with your phone. From someone else’s.” I barely register Mason’s words.
“If I see her or talk to her,” I say, my words coming out as numb as my body feels, “I don’t know how I’ll walk away again.”
“It’s a tough call,” Mason says faintly.
“She’s not at risk now?” I ask him again. It’s fucked up, but part of me wants her to already be in the line of fire. Just so I can go to her. To hold her, and take back everything. I hate myself for thinking that for even a second. I’m weak. I need to be stronger for her.
Diary Entry One
Dear Pops,
I’ve seen Kat do this a few times.
Writing a letter to talk to her parents. It’s how I knew back then that she wasn’t doing too well. I’d give her extra attention and keep a closer eye on her whenever she took out that journal. I’m not doing too well now, and I need you. Thought I’d give this a try; I don’t have anything else.
I miss you already.
If you’re with Ma, tell her I miss her too. That I love her and wish you two were here.
God, I do. I need you two.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better son.
I’m so damn sorry that the last conversation we had was about how disappointed you were in me. I promise I’m trying to do what’s right. It’s so hard to know, though.
It’s too many lies to know what the truth is. Too many secrets to hold on to what’s real.
I’m afraid of losing everything. It’s like it’s all crumbling around me and I can’t stop it.
I’m so damn alone, and it’s my fault. I’m terrified to be close to anyone right now.
I need you to do me a favor. You gotta look out for Kat.
She misses you and she’s not okay.
She used to say that when she’d write, her parents would be there in some way. She said she knew they were watching. She knew they heard. I hope you can hear me now.